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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 6 Jest for Fun26 April 2008
Cold cash - what the casinos keep in their air-conditioned counting rooms.
* * * * *
Recession does affect gambling. During the last one, it was so quiet in the
Atlantic City casinos,
you could hear a fin drop.
* * * * *
Casino goers come in many sizes and shapes: credit cards, cash, checks.
* * * * ... (read more)
Jest for fun29 March 2008
You never know how short a month is until those casino ATM cash-advance machine statements start coming in.
* * * * *
Las Vegas really lives up to its reputation for being a unique city.
One of its mortuaries has its
own radio show - 15 minutes of dead air.
* * * * *
A slot machine is sometimes like a small child. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun29 February 2008
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in
your pocket.
* * * * *
Albert Einstein did a mathematical study of the European single-zero roulette wheel. He concluded that the only way to beat the game consistently is to steal chips when the croupier isn't ... (read more)
Jest for Fun19 January 2008
You gotta hand it to those casino parking lot attendants. They really do a
bang-up job.
* * * * *
I'll tell you why I quit playing the slots. I've been playing them for 15
years and I just wanted to
give it up before it became a habit.
* * * * *
Money isn't everything -- as long as you have enough of it.
... (read more)
Jest for fun22 December 2007
* * * * *
"Did you see much poverty when you were in Atlantic City?"
"A lot. In fact, I brought some home with me."
* * * * *
It's easier to win a big jackpot than to know what to do with it.
* * * * *
They say money talks in a casino. But it never says anything so often as
"Good-bye."
* ... (read more)
Jest for Fun22 September 2007
The first visit to a casino is like the first night of a honeymoon. The expectation is high, but the results are usually disappointing.
* * * * *
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you wake up and
stops when you
go to sleep or to a casino.
* * * * *
What makes for a happy ending of some trips to a casino is that fact that it has ended. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun28 July 2007
If you want to lose weight, go to one of those airport snack bars
and eat only what you
can afford.
* * * * *
I dumped every cent in my wallet into the slot machines. Now I know how a cow
must feel after
milking time.
* * * * *
There are two sayings which pretty well sum up slot players' feelings: TIME
IS MONEY and
TIME FLIES.
... (read more)
Jest for fun29 June 2007
Joe: "You took your girlfriend to Las Vegas and lost $1500."
Bill: "Yeah. That's all she had."
* * * * *
Blessed is he who expects nothing from the casino for he shall never be
disappointed.
* * * * *
A man entered a restaurant in one of those European-themed casinos on the
Las Vegas Strip.
When ... (read more)
Jest for fun25 May 2007
The trouble with being a good loser is that you have to lose to prove it.
* * * * *
My luck is so bad, I have a black belt in losing.
* * * * *
Slots have brought together hundreds of thousands of people with one
thing in common
losing.
* * * * *
Losing at slots is like two of the Seven Dwarfs. ... (read more)
Jest for fun16 April 2007
Two close friends were attending a civic club charity affair in Las Vegas.
"I just bought a kiss
from a beautiful blonde. And I hate to say it, but she kisses better than my
wife." His friend
said that he was going to try it.
When he came back, the first man asked,
"How was it?"
"Swell," said the second. ... (read more)
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