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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 7 Jest for Fun23 March 2007
Two men were speaking. "It's sad about our friend Joe losing a fortune at
the tables.
Half of his relatives don't know him anymore."
"And what about the other half?"
asked
the second man. "Oh, they don't know yet."
* * * * *
A. "Do you believe in palmistry?"
B. "Well, not exactly. But the ... (read more)
Jest for Fun23 February 2007
Gambling may be described as a narcotic that arrests human intelligence
long enough to get
money from it.
* * * * *
"You're cheating!" the card dealer said to one of the players.
"No, I'm not!" the player said.
"You must be," said the dealer.
"You're not playing the hand I dealt you."
* * * ... (read more)
Jest for Fun19 January 2007
He: "We can't afford to go to Atlantic City on our budget."
She: "I have an idea how we can."
He: "How?"
She: "Have two budgets."
* * * * *
"We saw the erupting volcano attraction at the Mirage Casino in Las
Vegas."
"What?"
"Volcano. You know, one of those things that belches and spits ... (read more)
Jest For Fun23 December 2006
Math teacher to gambler's son: If your father had $300 and a friend asked
him for a loan
of $200, how much would your father have left?"
Gambler's son: "Three hundred dollars."
* * * * *
A. "My brother is a panhandler in Las Vegas."
B. "What? I thought the city council outlawed panhandling on the sidewalk in
front of
casinos."
A. ... (read more)
Jest for fun25 November 2006
If Sam Goldwyn had been asked his opinion of slot machines, he would
probably have
said, "In two words I'll tell you about winning at slot machines: im ...
possible!"
* * * * *
A little old lady in the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas stopped to talk
with a cleanup person
who was jabbing scraps of paper on the floor with a stick. ... (read more)
Jest For Fun27 October 2006
Two men are talking. "My job makes me get up as soon as the first light of
the sun comes
into my room" said the first man.
"Isn't that rather early?" asked the
second man.
"No,"
said the first. "My room faces west. I'm on the casino night shift."
* * * * *
A tourist in Las Vegas asks a ... (read more)
Jest For Fun25 June 2006
A. "Who were the first gamblers?"
B. "Adam and Eve."
A. "Why do you say that?"
B. "Didn't they shake a paradise?"
* * * * *
A tourist visiting Atlantic City was held up in a parking lot.
"Give me your money or I'll blow your brains out," said the holdup man.
"Blow away," said the tourist. ... (read more)
Jest For Fun21 May 2006
Two close friends were attending a civic charity affair in Las Vegas. "I just bought a kiss
from a beautiful blonde. And I hate to say it, but she kisses better than my wife."
His friend said that he was going to try it. When he came back the first man
asked, "How was it?"
"Swell," ... (read more)
Jest for Fun31 December 2005
A. "Do you keep half of the money you win?"
B. "No. I usually don't win that much."
* * *
A lady tourist asks a hotel check-in clerk what's a good floor to sleep on.
"Lady," said the clerk, "if you're going to sleep on the floor, they're all the same."
* * *
The big Megabucks jackpot winner was complaining to her accountant about the
amount
of tax she had to pay on her winnings. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun17 September 2005
Two college friends who haven't seen each other since graduation bump into
each other at
a wedding.
First man: "What are you doing nowadays?"
Second man: "I'm trying to make an honest living. And what about you?"
First man: "I'm a casino manager."
Second man: "Oh. And I was going to ask you if you ... (read more)
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