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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 5 Jest for Fun26 June 2009
Casinos know you can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary. A majority will do.
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Two senses are required in a casino: common and horse.
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However much a slot gives out, there is more that it withholds.
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The Defective Casino
An English tourist in ... (read more)
Jest for Fun30 May 2009
You can lead a person to a casino, but you cannot make him think.
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Everyone has bad luck occasionally. But some people give it assistance.
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Written on the wall in the men's room of a Las Vegas wedding chapel:
First the engagement ring
Then the wedding ring
Then the ... (read more)
Jest for Fun27 February 2009
One should always remember that what the casino gives away, it must first take away.
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Gambling establishments are full of willing people. Those willing to lose and those willing to let them.
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A guest checked into a Las Vegas motel and was getting ready for when he noticed a little ... (read more)
Jest for Fun23 January 2009
I enjoy reading fiction when I go into a casino. You know. Those slot payout tables that show how much you can win.
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Religion doesn't seem to count for much in a gaming town. The only time you
see people on their
knees is when they're looking for a dropped coin.
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Fun in a casino is like life insurance. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun27 December 2008
Keeping your bets small is like the Chinese proverb: Falling hurts least those who fly low.
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A small win beats losing every time.
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The new high-tech computerized slots do everything but think. They have a lot in common with many of those who play them.
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The first prerequisite to doing well in a casino is to be rich.
... (read more)
Jest for Fun23 November 2008
Money doesn't really talk in a casino. It goes without saying.
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French vs. American Dishes
DINER TO A FRENCH WAITER in a restaurant of the Paris-Las Vegas casino/hotel: "How do French dishes compare with the American ones?" Waiter: "Oh, they break just as easily."
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Nothing new ever happens in a casino. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun31 October 2008
Trying to beat a casino today is like being a pickpocket in a nudist
colony.
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The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.
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Everyone has heard the saying that we should not expect something for
nothing. Still, almost
everyone in a casino does.
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Even the born ... (read more)
Jest for Fun10 August 2008
Never let the casino do you a favor. It will cost you dearly in the end.
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Some things just don't make sense. Like opening up a savings bank in Las
Vegas.
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Overheard at a casino sports book: "Have you seen those signs saying SPEED
KILLS? I bet on
one horse that's going to ... (read more)
Jest for Fun13 July 2008
A good rule to remember before lending anyone money is: Don't lend
any money to anybody
unless they don't need it.
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A slot host is a source of advice. Some of it even good.
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Always play a slot machine slowly. As Gypsy Rose Lee used to say, "Anything
worth doing well
is ... (read more)
Jest for Fun25 May 2008
I have discovered the elixir that turns into gold for the casino: the words
BET MAX COIN.
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Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on what people do.
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What makes for a happy ending of some trips to a casino is the fact that they have ended.
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A racehorse is ... (read more)
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