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Best of Royal Flushes

Gaming Guru

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Play It Right: Slots

9 September 2021

CINDY: Without hiding anything my dear sister, how often do you play slots?

ABBY: Maybe ten percent of my time in the casinos. I usually do so when I am somewhat tired and don’t want to stand at a craps table or be at a blackjack table with annoying players. Actually, when I am tired, I tend to be annoyed even at players who are perfectly acceptable people.

CINDY: I am about the same. I do feel a little leery about playing slots. The house edges can be far greater than I would want to give the casino. I am not interested in playing any of the progressives. I can’t imagine playing machines that only pay back in the 85-percent ranges. Progressives with the millions of dollar wins are not hit that often. I’ve never been in a casino where I saw or heard someone shouting that they won millions. It happens but it has never happened when I’ve been in a casino. Little jackpots in the thousands or tens of thousands? Yes. In the millions? No.

ABBY: We can figure out what machines seem to be the best in their returns even though we don’t know that exactly.

CINDY: You never know that with any absolute confidence. It’s been like that for a hundred years. Remember how many writers and players said the hot machines were always kept by the entrances in order to lure players inside. Do you think it is that way?

ABBY: I have no idea. None whatsoever.

CINDY: What is your playing strategy then?

ABBY: I prefer the more traditional machines; one to three coins in that nature. I think the more bells and whistles on some of the new machines – which look great by the way – also add more to the house edges. I find that slot-machine entertainment can come from winning, meaning getting hits, or the machine doing stuff that distracts you without paying out as much. That’s how I look at the machines.

CINDY: The better the look, the better the graphics, the better the chance the machine isn’t paying as much as other machines not like that?

ABBY: Why not? It’s as good a theory as any other, I guess.

CINDY: Do you play full coin in order to get the biggest jackpot?

ABBY: If you look at the jackpot line for a traditional-type of machine you see an increase of a few hundred. If you put in full coin, meaning say three coins, you are increasing how much you are playing by three! You aren’t getting some great present for doing that. You are really just increasing how much money you are placing into the house edge’s way. That little increase in the jackpot line is not going to overcome three times the investment. Why put so much money in a machine?

CINDY: Do you notice how we still talk about “money” instead of credit slips?

ABBY: Yes, we do use the old language. Language dates us.

CINDY: Yes, language and the years zipping by. What we have is a single coin and that is that. No progressives at all. But we do play the lottery at times.

ABBY: A few times a year when the jackpot is overwhelmingly large. That’s fantasy gambling. I do think a lot of slot players fantasy gamble. It is one aspect of the machines that return amazingly large jackpots. The player thinks, “A hit can change my life!”

CINDY: Are you ahead?

ABBY: No. Are you?

CINDY: No.

ABBY: But I do have fun.

CINDY: So do I!
Royal Flushes

Abby Royal is a lawyer and Cindy Royal is a school administrator. Together, they are the Royal Flushes. The sisters play weekly or bi-weekly in such venues as Atlantic City, Las Vegas, Pennsylvania and Indian casinos throughout the country. They also enjoy the casinos on cruise ships. They know their stuff and have some great stories about their exploits.
Royal Flushes
Abby Royal is a lawyer and Cindy Royal is a school administrator. Together, they are the Royal Flushes. The sisters play weekly or bi-weekly in such venues as Atlantic City, Las Vegas, Pennsylvania and Indian casinos throughout the country. They also enjoy the casinos on cruise ships. They know their stuff and have some great stories about their exploits.