Fuddy-Duddy Slot Players

27 July 2023

By Royal Flushes

CINDY: Okay, now we come to slots, the most popular game in the casino. It’s the game that launched a true world-wide industry. We wouldn’t have a casino world, other than a few places spread out around the globe, where casinos were the main treat. There aren’t enough roulette players or craps players or blackjack players to make casinos an essential industry in any given area. But thanks to slots, now casinos are a big deal worldwide. You can find them almost anywhere.

ABBY: Slots are actually games, as in plural. There are so many different slot machines that its like going to a gardening or landscaping business to see the amazing number of plants and trees that are available. You can have so many diverse slot machines that a slot player could spend weeks playing all of them. Unless they were just playing one credit and moving on.

CINDY: Most slot players don’t play just one credit and then move on. They like to give the machines they play a chance to reward them, maybe spectacularly. Just stand outside a slot area in a casino and feast your eyes on a landscape of gambling choices for the players.

ABBY: True. Table games do not have the pull of slot machines. You don’t need to know anything to actually play the slots. In blackjack or Pai Gow Poker and many other table games, you have to know how to play your hands. With slots? Not really. Sheer luck determines it all.

CINDY: Slots is a solitary pursuit, just the player and the machine. I think many slot players like that, I know I do. When I play a slot machine, I enjoy just going into a train of thought or reverie where I am – how can you say this? – I’m elsewhere. It is more of an escape from the world for me.

ABBY: It’s possible this is what happens to many slot players too. Okay, so what type of slot players are we? Do you know?

CINDY: Good question. On my list, slot machines are way behind the table games I love to play. They are “I think I might play the slots for a while,” type of game. Maybe when I’m tired before I do back to my room to sleep.

ABBY: I can tell you exactly what kind of slot players we are.

CINDY: Okay, go ahead.

ABBY: We are fuddy-duddy slot players.

CINDY: What? Explain that.

ABBY: Answer my questions and it shall be revealed to you.

CINDY: Okay.

ABBY: When you are going to find a slot machine to play, what do you look for?

CINDY: Uh. Hmmmm.

ABBY: Let me help you. Do you look for the new, super-dooper, wild slot machines with a dozen or more options and amazing graphics? Looking for a tall one that goes up about ten feet? Which ones do you hunt for? Do you look for any of the ones I just mentioned?

CINDY: I got you now. I look for machines that are more like the traditional machines of the late 1980s as opposed to the advanced ones of today. Traditional machines, yes, those are the machines I look forward to playing.

ABBY: Last question.

CINDY: Shoot.

ABBY: Would you like to go back to playing actual coins?

CINDY: Yes, oh, yes. I prefer the coins! Even with the metal dust on my hands.

ABBY: You are, my dear sister, a fuddy-duddy slot player. You are a remnant of the past still playing in the modern casino with the new-fangled slot machines.

CINDY: And so are you.

ABBY: And so am I, yes. A fuddy-duddy.

CINDY: I never thought I’d become a fuddy-duddy in the casino world.

ABBY: Me neither.

CINDY: Okay, so we are throwbacks to the old-time slot machines. Okay, okay, I can accept that. I can.

ABBY: Actually, we have no choice but to accept it.

CINDY: Accepted!