Busting Out!

13 April 2023

By Royal Flushes

CINDY: Last week we discussed how we play a very straight game. We make the best bets at the game, follow careful money-management, and we get to go to the casinos every month for a couple or a few days. We do live, as we say, the casino players’ life.

ABBY: Today we introduce you to Donald, sometimes called Donnie when he’s staggering around the bar or casino.

CINDY: His philosophy of play, his philosophy of life is…why not let him tell you? Donnie, you're up.

DONNIE: I just write it here? My philosophy?

ABBY: Yes.

DONNIE: I believe in “busting out!” I come to the casino or I go out on the town to blow everything to bits, you know?

ABBY: Explain what you mean exactly.

DONNIE: I mean I am going to spend my money on making myself happy, you know what I mean? I know how you girls play…

CINDY: We’re more than 20 years older than you.

DONNIE: But you’re girls to me, ladies. You see what I mean? I look at you two and think of you as girls. I know you two are very successful or were very successful until you retired but that ain’t me. I have a job cleaning up and I only give about 75 percent to it. Maybe less. It isn’t my life. I get full pay and I only give 75 or fewer percent. That's the way to go.

ABBY: Your philosophy of play?

DONNIE: I want to nail the casinos in the heart, you know, like they were vampires. I am the vampire killer, you understand? I can’t play the way you two do, that would be so boring. I’d fall asleep.

Your strategies are too simplistic. Things get hot and you’re still betting the same bets. You don’t press like you should. I’ve had hot nights where I have killed the casino. Let me tell you.

CINDY: You’re still living with your mother, right?

DONNIE: In Italy when a son gets a divorce he moves back home until whenever.

Let me go on. I am busting it as I said. Busting those casinos. I need to know that when I come into a casino that I am willing to squash them on any given day or night. I am not playing just to survive, you got me? I am playing to put some serious hurt on them. I’d rather go home broke than just go home with some of the same money I came with to the casino, got me? And I drink plenty of their booze too. I get good comps and I use them all the way.

ABBY: You want everything.

DONNIE: Yeah, right, everything.

ABBY: And do you usually win?

DONNIE: What do you mean?

CINDY: Is your method of play the best way to beat the house?

ABBY: I’d say no, you usually take a beating.

DONNIE: I am about even is what I’d say when I am asked. Not many people are even, got me?

CINDY: Come on, tell the truth. We’ve known you since you were born. Your sister is one of our best friends.

DONNIE: I am not talking to her since she told me to leave her house. Her husband is a loser, even though he’s a lawyer. A big, fat loser is what he is.

ABBY: So, you feel that you have your playing life in control?

DONNIE: Correct.

CINDY: And playing cautiously as Abby and I do is really a waste of your time?

DONNIE: Of course. I can see that and so can anyone who reads this.

ABBY: Well, we hope on you next trip to the casinos that you do bust them. We wish you luck.

CINDY: Yes, we do.

DONNIE: I'm the vampire killer.