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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 4

 
 

Jest for Fun

15 January 2011
"Doctor," a wife begs the psychiatrist, "you've got to help my husband. He thinks he's a racehorse. He walks on all fours, eats hay, and wants to sleep in a stable." "Strange," said the psychiatrist, "but I think I can cure him. The treatment, however, will be lengthy and costly." "Money is no object," said the wife. ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

26 December 2010
No one wants to be a loser. So learn to be happy with any win you can get, no matter how small. * * * * * The slot machine is a despot whom players ridicule and obey. * * * * * It's easy to understand why so many people play slots today. They have half a mind to play until they win. And that's ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

26 September 2010
April 1. On this day, all casino patrons who think they can beat the casino are reminded of what they are. * * * * * When playing slots, always set a loss limit. Even if you have to borrow money to do so. * * * * * It's not hard to win at slots. It's just hard to keep from putting it ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

27 February 2010
A casino is either a great place of entertainment or a curse. One sometimes wonders which. * * * * * The author of a book on how to beat the slots sent a copy to a friend. Shortly thereafter he received this note from the friend: "Many thanks. I shall lose no time in reading your book." * * * * ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

26 December 2009
Here's a toast to all the change persons who work in casinos. The people who really know what you go through. * * * * * A big problem in the casino restaurants is tipping. Tipping is like prunes. You have to ask yourself, "Is one enough? Is five too many?" * * * * * A man returned from a weekend in Lake Tahoe. ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

28 November 2009
If profanity could affect the outcome of a slot game, there would be a lot fewer losers. * * * * * First Things First Captain to deckhand on a Mississippi riverboat casino: "If the boat hit a big object and started to sink, who would you save first? The young or the older women?" Deckhand: "Me!" * * * * * You gotta admit one thing about the weather in Las Vegas. ... (read more)
 

Slot Machine Malfunctions

31 October 2009
When you play a slot machine or video game, you enter into a contract with the casino. The payout table (or "glass") on top of the machine spells out the coin payout for various symbol combinations. An important element of the contract is the message on the glass saying that a "Malfunction voids all pays and ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

20 September 2009
You don't have to go to a casino to see people making a bundle. Just watch a farmer with a hay-bailing machine. * * * * * A slot host is someone who is passionate for the cash in it. * * * * * If you really want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, never ask a heavy loser how he's doing. * * ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

22 August 2009
All you need in a casino is lots of money and lots of luck. Then success is sure to come. * * * * * The best way to judge a smart gambler is not by how much he wins, but by how much he keeps. * * * * * A positive attitude in a casino can be described as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. ... (read more)
 

Jest for Fun

31 July 2009
The slot machine is proof that you can fool all of the people some of the time. * * * * * The saying "a positive anything is better than a negative nothing" is another way of saying you should be happy with whatever win in a casino you can get. * * * * * Greed and hope are the gambler's ... (read more)

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Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: