Jest for Fun

"Doctor," a wife begs the psychiatrist, "you've got to help my husband. He thinks he's a racehorse. He walks on all fours, eats hay, and wants to sleep in a stable."

"Strange," said the psychiatrist, "but I think I can cure him. The treatment, however, will be lengthy and costly."

"Money is no object," said the wife. "He's already won four races."

* * * * *

An astrologer gave my wife bad news. He told her when she goes to a casino not to gamble on any day that ends in a "y".

* * * * *

A casino manager hires a private detective to find a missing casino accountant. "Was he tall or short?" asked the detective.

"Both," said the casino manager.

* * * * *

I'll never forget my trip to Lake Tahoe -- no matter how hard I try.

* * * * *

A married couple were at the airport waiting for their flight to Las Vegas. At boarding time there was an announcement that there would be a half-hour delay in departure time.

"Well," said the husband looking at his watch, "that'll save me $200."

* * * * *

In case of an earthquake, go to a keno lounge. Nothing is ever hit in one.

* * * * *

It's strange. Gambling was once called a vice. Now it's considered entertainment.

* * * * *

There was a casino in Las Vegas that featured a topless ventriloquist. No one has ever seen her lips move.

* * * * *

All the toilet seats where stolen from the restroom in the Las Vegas police headquarters. The police have nothing to go on.

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying. A good gambler knows when to quit winners. A better gambler knows when to quit losers.