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Gaming Guru Jest for Fun12 November 2011
A public announcement heard over a casino's loudspeaker: "Will the player who
lost a $100 bill ten minutes ago please form a line at the cashier's cage."
* * * * *
Little Joey pestered his father into taking him to the zoo. "How did you
like the zoo, Joey?" asked his mother when they returned home. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun1 October 2011
Joe and Bill are conventioneers in Las Vegas.
Joe: "How's your luck?"
Bill: "Well, it's the same old story. One day I win. One day I lose."
Joe: Then why don't you just play every other day?"
* * * * *
A business executive rolls into his office after a big weekend in Atlantic City. "Get me my ... (read more)
Jest for Fun3 September 2011
Two slot machines got married in one of those quickie Las Vegas wedding chapels. Three months later, Mrs. slot snuggled up to her husband and whispered, "Honey, I think I'm overdue."
* * * * *
A teacher giving a class on modern inventions asks a gambler's son, "Billy, can you think of anything of ... (read more)
Jest for Fun6 August 2011
A Las Vegas school teacher was taking her class through a local art museum. "With a single stroke of a brush," she said, "Leonardo da Vinci could change a smiling face into a frowning one."
"That's nothing," said a little boy. "My father's a blackjack dealer at the Flamingo, and he does it all the ... (read more)
Jest for Fun9 July 2011
A man who played poker with Siamese twins was asked, "Did you win?"
"Yes and no," the man replied.
* * * * *
A slot player down to her last dollar took a shot at Megabucks.
Missed it.
* * * * *
A deceased debt collector knocked on the gates of hell and asked Satan for permission to ... (read more)
Jest for Fun4 June 2011
Many casinos have a small sign near the cashier's cage that says, "If you have a gambling problem call 1-800-Gamblers." A blackjack player wrote down the number and dialed it on his return home. The phone rang, and the player heard,"Gambler's Anonymous. How can I help you?" The blackjack player said, " I have a 2 and a 6 against the dealer's 10. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun7 May 2011
Husband to wife: "Let's take a municipal bus to the Flamingo on the
Strip."
"No way," said the wife. "The last time I rode on one of these
Vegas buses there was an accident and I was almost killed."
"Oh," said the husband, "give them another chance."
* * * * *
After a visit to a Las Vegas night club, a tourist said, "The place had
a minimum. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun9 April 2011
Sign seen written on men's room wall in a Las Vegas casino:
"It's only a gambling problem if you're losing."
* * * * *
Math teacher to gambler's son, "Billy, tell the class how much is
two and two."
Billy: "Snake eyes."
* * * * *
The Flamingo Casino in Las Vegas was built by the notorious
mobster Bugsy Siegel. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun12 March 2011
I once knew a gambler who was a real loser. He lost his job,
home, and wife as a result of his gambling. He believed in
reincarnation. So one night he took an overdose of sleeping
pills. His bad luck still held. He came back as himself.
* * * * *
When it comes to giving casino comps, the pit ... (read more)
Jest for Fun26 February 2011
"In one African country fish is so plentiful they use it as a means of exchange."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Boy, they must have a messy time playing slot machines over there."
* * * * *
"I really don't mind losing at slots. If it just wasn't so darn often."
* * * * *
Wife to husband: "Dear, I ... (read more)
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