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Gaming Guru Some Fun With Gambling14 December 2012
I'll tell you why I quit playing slot machines. I've been playing them for 15 years and wanted to give it up before it became a habit. * * * *
"Do you ever play the $5 slots?" "No, with my bankroll I can only afford to play the lower abomination slots." * * * *
A casino credit manager sent the following reminder of an unpaid marker: "Dear Mr. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun4 August 2012
A very popular figure in the Las Vegas gambling scene died, and a large number
of his gambling friends turned out for the funeral. As the preacher went on about
how the deceased was a good family man, friend, and member of the community,
he asked those present not to think of the deceased as dead, but just sleeping. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun14 July 2012
A sexy lady walks up to a craps table and tells the dealer she wants to make
a $5000 bet on a single roll of the dice.
"No problem, lady," said the dealer.
"Just one more thing," said the lady. "I feel much better when I play naked."
The dealer called the pit boss over, and he approved the lady's request.
... (read more)
Jest for Fun2 June 2012
A curious patron asked a casino personnel manager why he preferred married
men for blackjack dealers. "It's simple," said the manager. "Married men don't
get upset when they're yelled at."
* * * * *
A botany teacher asks a gambler's son, "What plant is peculiar to the Nevada
desert?"
Gambler's ... (read more)
Jest for Fun5 May 2012
A guest checked into a Las Vegas motel and was getting ready for bed when
he noticed a small book on the night table entitled "The Bedside Companion."
On the contents page was a list of articles to read for certain occasions.
"If you are depressed and down in the dumps, read page 37. If you are ... (read more)
Jest for Fun7 April 2012
A seventh-grade English teacher asks a pupil, "Billy, what is an effigy?"
Billy: "I don't know."
Teacher: "An effigy is a dummy. Now, Billy, can you use that word in a
sentence?"
Billy (thinks): "Oh, my father is a blackjack dealer in a casino. And every
night at dinner he tells us all about the ... (read more)
Jest for Fun3 March 2012
A jogger in a park near Lake Tahoe heard a woman's scream for help.
He rushed over to the woman to find that her son had swallowed a dime.
Quickly the jogger grabbed the little boy by the heels and shook him
upside down until the dime fell to the ground.
"Oh, doctor," said the woman,
"it certainly was lucky you happened by. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun4 February 2012
Q. What's the difference between a church bell and a casino?
A. A church bell peals from the steeple.
* * * * *
I stopped to eat at a restaurant in downtown Atlantic City. And what a
cheap joint it was. When I asked the waiter for a menu, he said that
someone else was using it.
* * * * ... (read more)
Jest for Fun7 January 2012
A woman sat down to play the slot machine next to me. Turning to me
she purred a friendly hello. I didn't recognize her, but her fate was familiar.
* * * * *
He: "Do you keep half the money you win at slots?"
She: "No, I usually don't win that much."
* * * * *
Man to wife: "The next time ... (read more)
Jest for Fun10 December 2011
Two men overheard at a bathing beauty contest in Atlantic City:
"How do you like bathing beauties?"
"Can't say. Haven't bathed any."
* * * * *
I couldn't decide whether to spend my vacation in Las Vegas
or Atlantic City. So I flipped a coin. On the 10th toss Las
Vegas won.
* * * * *
Did ... (read more)
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