Jest for Fun

6 August 2011

By Larry Mak

A Las Vegas school teacher was taking her class through a local art museum. "With a single stroke of a brush," she said, "Leonardo da Vinci could change a smiling face into a frowning one."

"That's nothing," said a little boy. "My father's a blackjack dealer at the Flamingo, and he does it all the time."

* * * * *

If Charles Dickens lived today, he would never have written his immortal Christmas Carol. Tiny Tim would be covered by an HMO. Jacob Marley would be in Forest Lawn. And Scrooge would be a casino credit manager.

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Elementary math teacher to gambler's son: "Johnny, tell the class how much is two and two."

Johnny: "Little Joe."

* * * * *

The casinos are determined to provide you with fun and entertainment even if it takes all the money you got.

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A shapely Las Vegas chorus girl told her boss that she was quitting to marry a man she had met in the casino after the last show.

"That serious?" the boss asked.

"Absolutely," replied the girl. " I've always dreamed of marrying a man who's tall, dark, and has some."

* * * * *

Husband: "Honey, what was the name of the hotel we stayed at in Reno?"

Wife: "I don't know. Wait! I'll look through the towels."

* * * * *

After a long slot-playing session, my wife loves to go shopping. Last week at a casino mall in Laughlin she paid an outrageous $500 for a clock from the Black Forest in Germany. And what a clock! At home, a little bird comes out of the clock every hour and describes her.

* * * * *

Joe: "I'm going to Las Vegas tomorrow. Got $600 to lose."

Bill: "Don't talk like that! You should never take a negative attitude in gambling. Always think positive."

Joe: "OK. I'm positive I'm going to lose $600."

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying: Whoever said nothing is impossible never played a slot machine.