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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 9 Jest for Fun1 January 2004
Q. What air in a casino does everybody cherish?
A. A millionaire.
* * * * *
There's the story about the Alaskan who hit a multimillion jackpot on Super
Megabucks. Back
home, he bought a dog sled for $80. But what a sled! It was pulled by ten
Cadillacs.
* * * * *
Players' dreams are the ... (read more)
Jest for Fun29 November 2003
A. "I hear that slots in the future will feature musical scores from the
classics."
B. "Yeah, and with my luck, I'll probably get a slot with Mozart's Requiem,
hymn for
the dead."
* * * * *
A Tennessee hillbilly is reading a newspaper: "It says here that some
Englishman lost over
100 pounds in just one turn of a card."
"Sakes alive," said another
hillbilly. ... (read more)
Jest for Fun23 August 2003
Casinos are always coming up with new ways to make money. For instance, one casino introduced a new type of bar room. It has free beer and pay men's rooms. * * * * * There's a new slot machine out there called Butcher. It does a neat job of chopping up your bankroll. * * * * * A civics teacher asked a ... (read more)
Jest for Fun28 July 2003
Mother to daughter: "I don't like your going to Las Vegas to marry the
millionaire you're engaged to. I really believe you'd be happy with a
man with less money."
Daughter: "Don't worry, Mother. You'll soon have your wish."
... (read more)
Jest For Fun31 May 2003
Did you hear about the pizza parlor at the Luxor in Las Vegas? It's
called the Pizza Tut.
* * * * *
Casino credit - a variation of "fly now, pay later."
* * * * *
A slot player who doesn't believe in ... (read more)
Jest For Fun24 February 2003
Daffynishion of a pawnbroker in Las Vegas: One who lives off the flat of
the land.
* * * * *
A: "Did you hear the new casino Chumps R Us song?"
B. "No, how does it go?"
A. "Everything I ... (read more)
Jest For Fun30 December 2002
He:
"Did you hear what happened in the casino?"
She:
"No, what?"
He:
... (read more)
Jest For Fun27 October 2002
Wise gamblers start their bets low and increase them only when winning. When losing, they either decrease their bets or quit. This is one key secret of successful gamblers. * * * * * It's a wondrous age we're living in. We have two things that are self-cleaning - ovens and the casinos. * * * * * The best way to make your dreams come true in a casino is to wake up. ... (read more)
Jest For Fun30 September 2002
I took my wife to the Paris-Las Vegas Casino where she tried out her Pigeon French. She had trouble with the waiters, but she got along great with the little French pigeons. * * * * * No place offers a more striking conviction of the vanity of human hope than a casino. * * * * * A well-known Las Vegas gangster who was driven out of a casino opened up a lingerie shop in a casino mall. ... (read more)
Jest For Fun28 August 2002
A kindergarten teacher was giving her class a lesson on coins. Slapping a silver dollar on her desk, she asked a gambler's son, "What was that?" Without a pause, he said, "Tails." * * * * * Positive thinking is the first victim of losing. * * * * * A. "She's a dollar and sense slot player." B. ... (read more)
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