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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 10 Jest For Fun28 June 2002
I take a philosophical look at things. Like if God had intended us to be rich, he never would have given us casinos. * * * * * Lots of slot players know a good machine the moment another player sees it first. * * * * * Nothing kills hope like reality. * * * * * In a family-friendly casino in Las Vegas, a ... (read more)
Jest For Fun28 April 2002
Luck, like a ghost, eludes touching. It's always somewhere else, not where you are. * * * * * I found out why casino credit managers consider a line of credit a personal loan. I missed three payments and, boy, did they get personal. * * * * * Overheard in the Luxor casino in Las Vegas: "What is the ... (read more)
Jest For Fun31 March 2002
The track opened today. So I went out and bet $20 on the very first race. What can I say? If Paul Revere had ridden this nag, we'd still be under British rule. * * * * * There is a store on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City that sells a topless and bottomless bathing suit. It comes in an empty box that sells for $23. ... (read more)
Jest For Fun24 February 2002
* * * * * Gambling losses are much sooner forgotten than a win. * * * * * A disgruntled player wrote a letter to the slot manager of a casino. It began: "Dear Sir, about your ad in a gaming magazine claiming you have looser slots and that I could win more. May I suggest that the person who wrote the ad try ... (read more)
Jest For Fun27 January 2002
A panhandler on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City stops a man coming out of a casino. "Have you got money for a cup of coffee, mister?" "No, I'm sorry I don't," said the man. "But don't worry. I'll get along. * * * * * A woman played roulette for hours, losing all her money. In one final desperate move, she put her three-year old son on 17 red. ... (read more)
Slotpourri30 December 2001
Good luck is like a ghost. Everyone hears about it, but few have ever seen it. * * * * * He: "How did you do at the Blazing 7s slot?" She: "The Blazing 7s weren't all that hot." * * * * * Sometimes the best part of a trip to a casino is knowing that you're going home. * * * * * A gambler was asked why he always flirted with waitresses. ... (read more)
Slotpourri30 November 2001
The saying "it's better to have loved and lost" describes an unlucky gambler on his honeymoon. * * * * * Sign seen above entrance to a Puerto Rican casino: SE HABLA YOUR BANKROLL. * * * * * Atlantic City has all kinds of gambling. if you want to take a chance in the morning, you can buy a lottery ticket. ... (read more)
Slotpourri28 October 2001
The parking situation in Las Vegas is impossible. I was telling a cop the other day, "You're giving me a ticket for parking? You should give me a medal." * * * * * Slot playing is a lot like magic. Now you see it, now you don't. * * * * * Witness: "John Smith." Cop: "OK," said the cop. "Gimme your real name." Witness: "All right. ... (read more)
Slotpourri30 September 2001
Did you read about where Liberace had a sequined dinner jacket made that cost him $3000? That's ridiculous. Why anyone who pays more than $2000 for a dinner jacket is crazy! * * * * * The Nevada state symbol is the slot machine. * * * * * I must complain that the cards are ill-shuffled until I have a good hand. ... (read more)
Slotpourri26 August 2001
In the year 4000, archeologists were poking around in the dust of what once was Las Vegas, trying to determine the decline and fall of American civilization. All they could find were poker chips. * * * * * Keep your bets low, and you'll avoid the mourning after. * * * * * If it weren't for parking meters, church collection plates, and slot machines, the government could do away with nickels. ... (read more)
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