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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 12 Slotpourri25 September 2000
It doesn't matter who wins or loses only who ends up with the money. * * * * * I invest, you bet, he gambles. * * * * * The next best thing to gambling and winning is gambling and losing. So said Nick the Greek Dandalos. Meaning that the game's the thing. * * * * * We're encouraged to believe that it's OK ... (read more)
Slotpourri27 August 2000
The end of the cold war with the Soviet Union brought about the construction of a 20-million dollar Las Vegas-type casino in Moscow. They call it the Comrade Hilton. * * * * * Did you hear about the madam in one of those legalized bordellos in Nevada? She put an ad in a local newspaper under the heading SALLY'S RENT-A-TART. ... (read more)
Slotpourri29 June 2000
A man returns to his hotel room after asking the casino credit manager for a line of credit. His wife asks, "Well, dear, did you get a line of credit?" Husband: "Why, the credit manager was just like a lamb." Wife: "Really? What did he say?" Husband: "Ba-a-a-a-a-h!" * * * * * A. "I have absolutely no ... (read more)
Slotpourri31 May 2000
A curious patron asked a casino personnel manager why he preferred married men for blackjack dealers. "It's simple," said the manager. "Married men don't get so upset when they're yelled at." * * * * * A. Why do you call your wife Cinderella when you're in a casino?" B. "Because by the time midnight comes ... (read more)
Slotpourri30 April 2000
No matter how little a slot gives you back, it's called a win. In reality, the slot is just giving you back a little of what you put into it. Unless, of course, you hit a really big jackpot. But if you put $50 into a slot and got back $30, you didn't win $30, you lost $20. Simple math. * * * * * Breathes ... (read more)
Slotpourri29 February 2000
I know a guy who got $10,000 from one of those Las Vegas Strip casinos. He slipped on a banana peel and sued. * * * * * Some casinos do have feelings for their patrons. Like sending CARE packages to their homes. * * * * * Can't get over those prices at the airport. Yesterday, I had lunch in one of those snack bars at the McCarran Airport in Las Vegas. ... (read more)
Slotpourri30 January 2000
You don't know what exclusive is unless you've spent some time at one those giant megaresorts in Las Vegas. One day I asked a bellboy for change of a dollar. He said, "Pal, around here a dollar is change." * * * * * Nevada is a good place to live in. If you happen to be a slot machine. * * * * * SATAN TO ... (read more)
Slotpourri30 December 1999
Do you know what happens to independently wealthy people who go to Las Vegas? They come back independently poor. * * * * * The House Fly During a roulette session a fly landed on 34 red. Taking this as a good luck omen, a player put all he had on this number. The wheel spun, and the ball landed on 17 red. ... (read more)
Slotpourri29 November 1999
Can't understand it. The minute a swank casino restaurant calls a dish international cuisine, the price doubles. How much can garlic cost? * * * * * I finished my meal in one of those swanky Las Vegas Strip restaurants. The first time I ever saw a Diner's Club card turn pale. * * * * * Line of Succession A gambler's son is being quizzed by a history teacher. ... (read more)
Slotpourri28 October 1999
Here are the origins of some casino gambling terms: BEAT THE HOUSE During the American colonial period, a "house" referred to a merchant's place of business. And a customer who could talk a merchant into giving him a better price could literally boast that he had "beaten the house." In today's usage, ... (read more)
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