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Larry Mak Gaming Guru - Page 11 Slotpourri29 July 2001
A casino patron asked a security guard, "What's that strange odor I smell in here?" "Probably the dead slots," said the guard. * * * * * A Martian wandered from his spaceship in the Nevada desert into one of the Las Vegas Strip casinos. He walked in just as a slot machine was spewing forth a torrent of dollar tokens. ... (read more)
Slotpourri24 June 2001
Lady Luck laughs at the fool who takes her seriously. * * * * * When the slot machines take our last dollar, we flatter ourselves that we had fun. * * * * * If you get lucky and hit it real big in a casino, don't fail to go and tell it to your friends to annoy them. * * * * * The casinos and gamblers have an agreement which satisfies both parties. ... (read more)
Slotpourri27 May 2001
It's Thanksgiving Day every day in a casino. The players provide the giving, and the casinos provide the thanks. * * * * * Casino: The great cesspool into which people's bankrolls are drained. * * * * * Atlantic City has all kinds of gambling. If you want to take a chance in the morning, you can buy a lottery ticket. ... (read more)
Slotpourri29 April 2001
There are three types of lies: Lies, damn lies, and positive thinking. * * * * * Teacher to gambler's son: "What comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb?" Gambler's son: "A slot player with a system." * * * * * I've made it a rule never to play slots before sunset and after dark. * * * * * Sign seen above entrance to a Puerto Rican casino: SE HABLA YOUR BANKROLL. ... (read more)
Slotpourri25 March 2001
I don't want to brag, but everybody takes me for forty. That is everybody but Las Vegas. They took me for six hundred. * * * * * 'Tis better to live rich than to die rich. * * * * * Better a slim win than a fat loss. * * * * * Always stay at the better hotel/casino. You meet a better class of loser. ... (read more)
Slotpourri25 February 2001
Losing is the slots way of telling you to quit. * * * * * It takes time for the casino to take you to the cleaners. But then time is all it takes. * * * * * Never gamble before breakfast. But if you have to gamble before breakfast, have breakfast first. * * * * * The one person who really counts in the casino is the coin counter in the counting room. ... (read more)
Slotpourri28 January 2001
People who once thought slot machine playing was evil are now playing them. And lightning does not strike them. * * * * * Listen to the little voice inside your head when it tells you to stop playing. Successful gamblers have learned to respect their inner voices. * * * * * All happy slot players are alike. ... (read more)
Slotpourri31 December 2000
* * * * * If red came up ten times in a row, would you bet on black because it's overdue? The correct answer is no! The roulette wheel has no memory any more than dice do. And black can come up another ten times in a row. Always bet with the trend, not against it. There is no such thing as "overdue." * * * * * Never make a bet you can't afford to lose. ... (read more)
Slotpourri27 November 2000
* * * * * All slots are alike. But they look different so you can tell them apart. * * * * * Chasing after a megajackpot is a difficult pursuit. * * * * * Casinos prove the old saying that when you get something for nothing, you're paying a high price for it. * * * * * Poker is a game in which a good deal depends on a good deal. ... (read more)
Slotpourri27 October 2000
If you go to a casino with the idea you're going to lose, and you succeed, which have you done? * * * * * No one wants to be a loser. So learn to be happy with any win you can get, no matter how small. A small win beats losing, every time. * * * * * I don't want to say the horse I bet on was slow, but you could have bet on him to win, place or live. ... (read more)
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