Ask the Slot Expert: Lamentation(?) for Las Vegas Buffets

Question: Thanks for all the information in your last issue: Buffets: Gone But Not Forgotten or The Bean Counters Win Another!

Answer: Las Vegas re-opened three weeks ago. That really just meant that the remaining Covid mitigation efforts -- like social distancing and capacity restrictions -- ended. As much as the local news station I watch tried to make a big deal of the event, the only companion report it had for the headline was a remote at a Vietnamese restaurant where the owner said she was glad that she would be able to from 80% to 100% capacity.

Las Vegas may be open for business but, as my reader points out referring to last week's column, most buffets aren't -- especially in the locals scene.

Execs from local powerhouse Red Rock Resorts, parent company of Station Casinos, said in an earnings call a few weeks ago that they had no plans to re-open the buffets at their casinos. Instead of continuing to subsidize the buffet, they said they would invest the money where they make money -- the casino floor.

As I wrote last week, I'm not shedding too many tears over the possible death of the buffet. Sure, I've used my share of buffet coupons -- and even paid full price a few times -- but I've been able to live without buffets for the past 15 months and I think I can continue to live without buffets.

Buffets are great for variety. Bob wants Italian, Carol wants Chinese, Ted wants Mexican, and Carol wants American. Everyone can get what they want at the buffet. Even for one person, I can try spoonfuls of Sausage and Peppers and Beef with Broccoli, and get half an enchilada and a BBQ rib. And maybe a few U-Peel shrimp on the side.

Dontcha love the way they try to turn making you do the work into a selling point? It's really more like: "You want shrimp, you can peel 'em. You're lucky they come deveined."

But then again, I come from New Jersey. The Garden and gas-station-attendant state. Pump your own gas? Illegal. When I worked at the Pan Am data center in northern New Jersey, co-workers who lived in New York always got their gas in New Jersey. "It's cheaper -- and they pump it for you!"

Another buffet advantage is probably a major reason buffets should not return. Buffets aren't so much all you can eat as all you can waste. How many plates piled high with uneaten food have you seen server remove from a table?

One aspect of the buffet I did enjoy was being able to stay almost as long as you wanted. You can take as long as you want to not eat that mountain of food you took.

As long as there were empty tables in my section, I felt comfortable staying for a while. My party was not keep another party from getting seated.

Considerable waste is one strike against the buffet. Another is the food. Most buffets offer variety and quantity, not quality.

Like the Chicken Parm Action Station at one casino's buffet a few years ago. A freshly made Chicken Parm instead of an overcooked one that has been drying out sitting in a pan on the steam table for the last hour sounded good. The cook fried the cutlet until it was golden brown, and then topped it with a handful of shredded mozzarella from a culinary-size bag. The gritty, dry texture from the anti-caking blend reminded why I never buy shredded cheese.

And the time my cousin brought to my spaghetti dinner a nearly empty container of Kraft grated Parmesan cheese -- the one in the green, cardboard container -- so we could use it up reminded why I buy a wedge of Parmesan at Costco and grind my own as needed.

I like pancakes, but not when they're so dried out that they form a crust and even the fake maple syrup (I've learned the code that products called "syrup" and "pancake syrup" are not maple syrup) won't re-hydrate them.

I admit that I haven't tried many expensive buffets -- certainly not recently. The quality may be there. But there are (well, were) some mid-price buffets I could usually count on to have near-restaurant quality food.

I could usually rely on the small buffet at the Westgate, which was closed more often than it was open the past few years. The Chinese dishes were always good. I was really disappointed it didn't the short ribs one time. And the brisket with creamy horseradish sauce was good if you could get a piece that wasn't all fat.

The AYCE buffet at the Palms was also on my short list. Maybe because they presented small plates of food instead of large trays. The French Onion soup was always good. The BBQ station was also a regular stop for me, but I did prefer it when you could choose your own ribs instead of having to ask a server for them. I guess too many people took too many and wasted them.

The Palms AYCE model was going to be instituted at the Red Rock buffet, but then Covid.

The Red Rock buffet was the site of two of my buffet disasters. One involved spilling half my bowl of Split Pea soup on the salad bar counter.

The other was a sausage taking its revenge on me. I was trying to cut it into smaller pieces, but I had difficulty cutting breaking through the casing. The sausage slipped out from under my utensils and flew off the plate onto my shirt, bringing a wave of red sauce along with it. I looked like I had just been shot in the stomach. Nevertheless, it was a good sausage.

When Mirage Resorts owned The Mirage, it played a recording of Steve Wynn as you rode the escalator in from the street. Steve extolled the virtues of the property, including the "Las Vegas tradition of the buffet."

Both are more or less gone now.

Speaking of more or less gone now, what things has your casino still not brought back? Do you think they'll ever bring them back? Or, as my reader said, have the bean counters won?

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