Poker Player Tweets of the Week: A penny for your thoughts

Last week, Daniel Negreanu started a bit of a kerfuffle in the poker Twittersphere. He did it again this week, blasting out more of his meta analysis of human behavior. Negreanu tweeted: "Events in life don't make you happy or sad, how you choose to perceive those events does. Events are neutral until you place meaning on them." The tweet got plenty of attention in the poker world, as we've come to expect anytime "Kid Poker" provides life insight in 140 characters or less. We're not giving in this time. If we wanted to, we could spend an entire column -- or even write a book, complete with psychological analysis -- trying to figure out what is going in Negreanu's head. But this space is reserved for only the most essential topics in the poker world, like football, convenience store etiquette and hilarious Indian casinos. You know -- the important stuff in life. Thursday, Sept. 26: Jason "@JasonMercier" Mercier

Sports media is so blindly results oriented, I really cant handle it. I hope GA tech beats Va tech, just outta principle #conventionalwisdom
— Jason Mercier (@JasonMercier) September 27, 2013

Sigh. This is sadly so true. The sports media doesn't care about facts or hard analysis. It cares about selling ad space and air time. Storylines are created based on what the media feels the "pulse" of the fan base is thinking, not what is actually happening. The narrative comes first and the rationale comes second. Poker players like Mercier are able to easily see through this faulty logic because they understand probabilities and the importance of sample sizes. In sports, winning and losing games is the end-all-be-all. In reality, though, a team's record is usually a reflection of a combination of their skill and luck -- much like a poker player's short-term success. In poker, players are able to play enough to balance swings and see results that closely match their true ability. But in sports, the sample size is never big enough -- and the media is never able to grasp that simple concept. Thursday, Sept. 26: Maria "@MariaHo" Ho

Who you callin' a Ho?!?! ;) pic.twitter.com/a5plGsyb6Y
— Maria Ho (@MariaHo) September 27, 2013

Haha, we get it. Your last name also means "prostitute." Very clever. I wonder how many times Mario Ho has made this joke, or how many times others have made this joke to her. What would be a reasonable over/under to set on this? 100 times? 1,000? You'd think that after a while she'd just be tired of it. Thursday, Sept. 26: Ben "BenbaLamb" Lamb

What's the maximum socially acceptable amount of pennies one can take from the "take a penny - leave a penny" tray if it contains 17pennies?
— Ben Lamb (@BenbaLamb) September 26, 2013

Now here's a tweet worth our full attention! Ben Lamb, obviously in no need for financial help, is asking how many pennies a person can take in order to pay the full amount for something at a convenience store. I think fellow pro Jeremy Ausmus' response -- "I think it's meant for increments below 5" -- is spot on. Once you hit five pennies, you have yourself a nickel. And this isn't a "take a nickel - leave a nickel" tray, is it? So the next time you buy a soda at 7-11, and the total comes out to $1.79, feel free to take up to four pennies, ensuring that you will receive no copper in return on the transaction. Problem solved. Wednesday, Sept. 25: Jared "@TWKftw"

if you look at the schedules for the NFC East teams, it's not all that unlikely that in week 6 the 2-3 Cowboys play the 1-3 Redskins for 1st
— Jared Hamby (@TWKftw) September 25, 2013

As a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I know full well the futility that is the NFC East. "TheWacoKidd" could be absolutely spot on here. Let's see. The 2-1 Cowboys visit the 1-2 Chargers this Sunday in a game that is totally up for grabs (Dallas was favored by 2 points as of Thursday). Dallas then hosts the Broncos next week, which should be a loss, but Tony Romo plays his best at home. A 2-3 record is certainly possible, though. The Redskins, meanwhile, visit the Raiders this week. Washington is somehow a 3-point favorite despite getting absolutely destroyed in its first three games this year. Oakland does not have a strong offense, but Washington's defense could make a high school team look prolific right now. A Redskins win is certainly possible, though. So Hamby is right, a 2-3 Cowboys vs. 1-3 Redskins matchup in Week 6 is a definite possibility. With the Eagles at 1-2 and reeling as they go to face Denver on Sunday, and the 0-3 Giants looking like the worst team in football (outside Jacksonville, of course), that game could absolutely be for first place. This is God's punishment for the Chip Kelly offense, I suppose. Sunday, Sept. 22: Bryan "@b_campanello45" Campanello

Guy flats me with 72 makes boat on K7225 versus KQ and says "stop raising every damn hand kid" #soaringeagle
— Bryan Campanello (@b_campanello45) September 22, 2013

Ah, Soaring Eagle Casino & Resort. I have fond memories of this place. When I was 18 and a freshman in college, my friend and I traveled to his house in the Detroit suburbs for a weekend. He lived just about a 30-minute drive from Windsor, Canada, where we planned to go to Caesars Windsor and play poker all weekend. It was going to be great. Unfortunately, when we bought the tickets, I didn't know you had to be 19 years old to gamble in Windsor. And my friend, who knew the rule, mistakenly thought I had already turned 19. So we were screwed. That is, until he told me about Soaring Eagle, the Indian Casino two hours west in Mount Pleasant, Mich., a humble, working-class town. This was my first experience playing poker in a real casino, and it was everything I hoped it would be. I was nervous as hell sitting down at the 1-2 table, but I quickly tripled up when I flopped Queens-full, and I felt great for the rest of the weekend. We made the four-hour round trip three times that weekend, and it was worth every second on the road.