Barney Vinson's World

When you're gambling in a casino, it isn't necessary to specify the denomination of chips when you get change. If the minimum bet at the table is $5, the dealer will give you $5 chips.

One dealer related the following story. A man dropped a $100 bill on the table and said, "Give me twenty-five dollar chips." So the dealer gave him 25 $1 chips and three $25 chips.

"No," the man said. "Give me twenty-five dollar chips." This time the dealer gave him four $25 chips.

"No," the man said. "Give me twenty-five dollar chips." What the man wanted was 20 $5 chips, which is what he would have gotten if he hadn't said anything.

On a blackjack game, a player dropped a $100 bill on the table. "Give me twenty ones," he said.

The dealer, who was in the process of shuffling the cards, smiled and said, "I'll try."

After the shuffle was completed, she gave me the man twenty $5 chips.

"Give me twenty ones," he repeated.

"I'll try," she smiled again. Well, of course, she thought the man wanted her to deal him a 21 on every hand, and he what he wanted was twenty $1 chips.

* * *

It happened at a plush resort on the Las Vegas Strip. A South American millionaire was playing craps when the shooter rolled a winner 6 the hard way. The gambler had bet $10,000 on the pass line with $20,000 odds, receiving a payoff of $34,000. Apparently, however, it was not enough.

He spoke quietly to the dealer, who turned to the boxman and said, "The gentleman says that we owe him another $27,000."

"For what?" the boxman cried.

"Well, he said that he meant to bet another $3,000 on the hard 6, but he accidentally bet on the hard 8 instead."

The game was stopped while the boxman talked to the floorman, who then talked to the pit boss, who naturally had to talk to the shift boss, who had to call someone else on the phone. Meanwhile, the millionaire gambler talked happily with his friends. After all, he was stuck almost a million dollars, and there was no way he would lose this argument.

The shift boss hung up the phone and nodded to the pit boss, who nodded to the floorman, who nodded to the boxman. "Pay him," the boxman said to the dealer, and a beautiful stack of $1,000 chips was shoved in front of the gambler.

Just as the game was about to get underway again, a player at the other end of the table shouted. "Hey, I meant to put $50 behind my bet. How about paying me?"

It was just another day in Vegas.