Wally's Glossary of Casino Gambling Terminology

"On the Lighter Side ..."
Copyright 1997, Walter Thomason

So, you wanna be a casino gambler? The furst thing you need to learn is the language used in the casino. You gotta know what your talking about when you go in a casino; you gotta know what the words mean! If you don't know the lingo -- forget it! There's a lot of stuff included in gambling books, but a lot of those words don't mean nothin to a real gambler! I'm nologeable about gambling words -- trust me on this -- and most things those guys tell you is not accurate!! Learn from my mini years of experience -- no how to talk, no how to walk, and understand what everyone is saying when you gamble! My definition (had to look up this word!) of casino gamblin words is as follows:

IMPORTANT GAMBLIN WORDS

Bet

Short for Betty, my ex-girlfriend, or the amount I lose on every darn spin of the Roulette wheel.

Break/Bust

What you do while driving a car when you see the latter part of this term possessed by a lady walking down the street. (No relation to Bust-out, which is another story.)

Card Counting

Checking your used decks of cards to be sure that your friends didn't palm the aces to use in your next poker game. There's supposed to be about 50 cards in every deck. Blackjack players also do this to gain an .0000012 edge over the casino, whatever that means...

Come Bet

A sign in front of a casino, usually followed by "here".

Coming Out

A party for rich girls; has nothing to do with gamblin, but is often paid for by winnings from Dad's last trip to Vegas.

Counter

The surface upon which the $2.99 Dinner Special is surved at Las Vegas Joe's 24 Hour Diner & Casino.

Craps

What your neighbor's two dogs leave in your front yard. Has nothing to do with casino gambling.

Crap Out

What you say to your neighbor, as in "Get the ____ ___ of my yard!"

Don't Come

A sexual expression, but I don't know what it means! I've also heard this term at the dice table, and I think it means the same thing!

First Base

Has something to do with baseball, which is too complicated to bet on; I think it has to do with that guy that didn't git the runner out, which made me lose a lot of money in the '79 World Series.

Hard Hand

An upper-body physical extremity possessed by most construction workers; has nothing to do with gambling.

Hit

What you do to your neighbor when he doesn't remove the craps from your front yard. In blackjack, what you do to the idiot next to you who splits 10's.

House Rules

Again, not related to gambling. Rules established by female employees of gaming establishments that relate to what their husbands must do at home, such as cleaning windows, throwing away empty beer cans, washing clothes, etc.

Insurance

It's something that you pay lots of money for until you need it, then they cancel you. In the game of Blackjack, it's a bet that the dealer has the same hand as yours, or a blackjack, or something, in which case you should ... I forget.

Junket

What my neighbors and my mechanic keep telling me to do to my car.

Money Management

A financial expression, but I don't know what it means! I think it relates to how much money you can manage to borrow from a friend...

Natural

Pertaining to Nature; Normal, as in hitting your neighbor for not removing the dog craps from your front yard.

Pass

What the opposing quarterback does in the last second of the game that results in a touchdown which causes you to lose your $200 bet by one point.

Perks

What a coffee pot does when the coffee is cooking, or boiling, or whatever is does... For what it's worth, a casino in Reno once gave me a free cup of coffee...

Pit Boss

The guy who cooks the Bar-B-Q at the annual company picnic.

Point

The end of the carving knife used by the Pit Boss at the annual company picnic, which must be avoided after the second six-pack. The other use of this term relates to throwing dice. I once made it a point to throw the dice directly at a stickman, and he responded by throwing me out the back door.

Puck

A major character (sometimes called Huck) in most books by Mark Twain, a writer who knew little about gambling, except for that frog that could jump further than ... oh well.

Push

What your neighbor does to you after your attempt to hit him because of the dog craps. Also, a tie between the dealer and the player, which means that you should have won, but that *&^%& drew five cards to twenty and stopped you from winning the biggest hand of the night!

Roller

One who rolls; also known as "high roller" -- one who rolls when drunk.

Shoe

A protective covering for the foot, often undercoated with dog craps.

Shooter

A straight shot of an alcoholic beverage, often followed by a "chaser", a person who is pursuing the person who drank the shooter. Often experienced in downtown Las Vegas.

Soft Hand

An upper physical extremity often possessed by beauticians and Blackjack players who don't work for a living.

Spread

A food product applied to crackers at the annual company picnic. The consumer may choose to vary the spread from one to five scoops from the dip dish.

Stand

Gen. Custer's Last, or what most guys can't do at the conclusion of the company picnic. Has no relation to casino gambling, unless you are broke and waiting outside for a cab to take you back to your over-priced hotel room.

Third Base

Another baseball term for one of the guys who stands in the infield and watches the game most of the time. Baseball games are seldom held in downtown Las Vegas.

Vigorish

A sticky, black, rope-shaped candy (made from dried vigs.) I once saw a losing player attempt to strangle himself with this confectionery, outside Ceasar's on the Strip in 1991.

Wrong Bettor

One who bets wrong, loses all of the time, gets yelled at by his wife, has to borrow money from friends, and hasn't won a bet since 1983. (ME!)

I ran outta space, and can't spend any more time right now trying to tell you how to speak casino lingo, but I hope you now no how to go in to a casino and not embarass yerself by using the wrong words! Good luck, and be sure to buy one of my books! I need a new bankroll!