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The Reel Life: Bad judgment edition

25 April 2017

A Supreme Court bench in India recently returned a judgment from a high court judge to its author for redrafting, citing that the judgment was so verbosely written as to be completely unintelligible.

Most mere mortals consider legal writing to be unintelligible more often than not in the first place, and India in particular has a tradition of judges using their judgments to show off all the big words they know. The Supreme Court in India is, therefore, quite accustomed to reading dense legal prose, so it's hard to imagine how convoluted the judgment must have been if even they couldn't make head nor tail of it.

Fortunately, we don't have to imagine. It's this level of convoluted:

"The summum bonum of the aforesaid discussion is that all the aforesaid material which existed before the learned Executing Court standing slighted besides their impact standing untenably undermined by him whereupon the ensuing sequel therefrom is of the learned Executing Court while pronouncing its impugned rendition overlooking the relevant and germane evidence besides its not appreciating its worth. Consequently, the order impugned suffers from a gross absurdity and perversity of misappreciation of material on record."

Lamentably, the abovementioned exemplar of supererogatory sesquipedalian opacity is… gah, we can't even pretend to do this.

Anyway. It looks like that isn't even the worst sentence submitted to an Indian court recently. That honor goes to this clunker from a judgment in a defamation case last year:

"This batch of writ petitions preferred under Article 32 of the Constitution of India exposits cavil in its quintessential conceptuality and percipient discord between venerated and exalted right of freedom of speech and expression of an individual, exploring manifold and multilayered, limitless, unbounded and unfettered spectrums and the controls, restrictions and constrictions, under the assumed power of 'reasonableness' ingrained in the statutory provisions relating to criminal law to reviver and uphold one's reputation."

We're so glad we're an online slots reviewer and not in the legal profession.

Get in the fast lane, Grandma, this bingo game is ready to roll!

Slotland, known around the world for its selection of unique online slot games, has just introduced its first keno game. Keno 101 is a traditional version of the classic casino game, with red and white playing cards that will be immediately familiar to players used to keno cards in casinos.

Until 30 April 2017, a choice of casino bonuses with various wagering requirements is available for players wanting to try the new game.

Keno is a simple game of chance. Players choose up to fifteen numbers from 1–80 and hope that they'll be randomly drawn. The more matching numbers they get, the higher the payout.

"People play keno everywhere in Las Vegas!" said Michael Hilary, Slotland's manager. "In a café waiting for a meal, at the corner store — it's quick, easy and fun! You can play up to 15 numbers, but a lot of players just play five or so. Even one matching number pays out!"

The word "keno" is based on the French word for five, but gambling historians agree that the game originated in China. Legend has it that the invention of the game saved an ancient city in time of war. Its widespread popularity is said to have helped raise funds to build the Great Wall of China.

To begin, players choose the amount to bet per game ($.50, $1, $2, $5, $10) and how many games to play. They then click numbers on their playing card to select them or use the Quick Pick feature.

"I don't actually have any lucky numbers, personally," said one player. "I usually just use the Quick Pick to choose numbers for me."

The game randomly draws 20 numbers. When one matches the player's selection it's highlighted, and the Summary card instantly shows how much has been won. Payout is based on the amount bet per game, how many numbers were selected and the number of "hits" or matches.

To give players some extra cash to try the new game, a choice of deposit bonuses with various wagering requirements is available until 2 May 2017.

Keno 101 introductory casino bonuses
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50% Deposit Bonus
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30% Deposit Bonus
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10x wagering requirement; may be claimed once per day; valid for all games.

These bonuses are valid 25-30 2017 only.

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The Reel Life: Bad judgment edition is republished from Online.CasinoCity.com.