The Craps Gizmo

The Crapshooter © 2001 by Larry Edell

It all started with my wife. Last Christmas she bought a small device that, when plugged into an outlet, was supposed to keep mosquitoes, flies, ants, and other pests from invading our home. It even had a flashing light on it to display that it was "working."

"But how is it working," I asked, "How can that little box do anything except blink?"

Andrea, my lovely wife replied, "Dena (a girlfriend) has one and she says it works. She says that if something helps even a little, then it does some good. And if Dena says it, I believe it, so that's that!"

Well, that really was that. We kept it. And as the months went by, I did notice a decrease in the level of non-human pests. Perhaps it was due to Dena's bug gizmo, who knows.

So, last month my wife and I happened to be in a casino playing craps. It was a crowded table and the shooter was setting the dice. Both Andrea and I bet the pass line and a slightly inebriated but somehow still standing gentlemen blurted out "Whajadodat?"

Equally erudite, I responded, "What?"

He burped. "Scuse me. I asked why you bet on him and not the other guy. No difference in shooters. Everyone the same. Setting dice don't do nothing."

The shooter threw a six point. We took 5X odds as it was one of those "full table odds" casinos.

He glared at us again. "Huh? You bet odds too?" I noticed that his rack was nearly empty. I guess this is why the casino gives free drinks to people.

"Um, yes. The shooter seems to know what he's doing."

And he did. He threw 8, 5, 9, 10, and another 8.

"Setting the dice doesn't do nothing," our soon to be former acquaintance said.

A 4, a third 8, and, a 6. We won!

"Don't mean nothing. Coincidence." He said it like CO–IN-SI-DENCE.

Now, my wife, who is way more patient than I am, turned to him.

"Sir, if anything helps in a craps game, wouldn't you want to use it? If you had some kind of a craps gizmo that kept sevens away, wouldn't you use it, even if it didn't work all the time? So does it really matter if dice setting really works, just as long as it produces results?"

"Huh?" he said, signifying he understood everything perfectly.

"Even if something helps just a little, doesn't it do some good?"

"Huh?"

This all struck a chord somewhere. Oh, now I remembered.

"Besides," I added, "Dena says it works, and I believe it, so it does!"

At that, Andrea and I started laughing hysterically.

The guy said, "You guys are drunk!" and somehow managed to scoop up his chips and stagger away towards the slot machines.

I smiled at my wife. "You're right honey. If something works, that's fine with me. It doesn't matter how or why, only that it produces results. I'll bet on a good dice setter anytime."

"Same shooter, coming out," the dealer announced.

Andrea smiled back at me. We both placed our bets. I'm sure that even Dena would have done the same.

And she's never even seen a craps gizmo!

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