When Things Go Wrong

15 February 2022

By Frank Scoblete

I have spent so much time in casinos, sometimes up to 130 days a year. In over three decades of play most of my visits are pleasant, whether I win or lose. Yet, some visits are noteworthy for the things that happen that are not par for the casino course. Those “things” can be for good or ill. Mostly, ill.

Now, I don’t live in Vegas. I don’t live in Atlantic City. I don’t live in Tunica or Biloxi or Connecticut or Reno or any of the states that are loaded with Indian casinos. I have two casinos close to me but these are not appealing so I do not visit them. I do not hunger to play. I only hunger to play the way I want to play.

But things can go wrong. Here are some examples:

The Surgeon

He was from California and he was a noted heart surgeon. He enjoyed blackjack and he had a reserved table for himself at a classy casino in Vegas.

Sadly, the game was not going well for him. He kept whining (loudly!) about the “cards being fixed” so “they” could get his money. He started to anesthetize himself with glasses of high-end scotch.

My wife, the Beautiful AP, and I were at a table next to his. Finally, he stood up and threw the scotch into the dealer’s face. She just stood there stunned. She took out a towel to wipe the table and he grabbed it from her and threw it in her face. Then he lifted the blackjack table and let it fall on its side, with chips cascading everywhere.

Security was there in a second. The young security; not in uniform like the old security guards that players could see. These were the men and women who could cart a drunken and/or dangerous player from the casino and perhaps set up a visit to the jail for that individual.

Strange as it may seem, our surgeon was not escorted or dragged out of the casino. He was escorted to his suite, told to take a nap and later that night there he was playing blackjack again with several security guards not too far away…just in case.

Hit the Back Wall, Miss

In craps the shooter of the dice must have both dice hit the back wall of the table. That is not a hard thing to do since the back wall is not very far from any player shooting the two dice.

But this young woman, maybe 25 years old, didn’t seem able to do that. The dice would just trickle out of her fingers or they would go flying off the table without even landing on the table. She either missed the back wall short or she missed it long. She could not just throw the dice and skip them on the felt so they would hit the wall.

“Miss,” said the box person. “Please hit the back wall with both dice.”

“I’m trying, I’m trying,” she said.

“Miss, also hold your wine away from the table. Maybe you should not throw the dice with a drink in your hand,” added the box person.

Again, she missed the back wall.

“Miss, you miss the wall again and we’ll have to take the dice away from you,” said the box person.

“You want me to hit the back wall? You want me to hit the back wall?”

Yes, yes,” said the box person who was trying to be polite. “It’s one of the rules of the game.”

“Rules? Rules?” she screamed. “I’ll show you rules!”

She picked up the dice and then she threw them with all her might as far as she could. They went flying and almost hit the wall of the actual casino.

“There! There!” she screamed. She picked up her pass-line bet and stormed off. The box person decided not to follow her as she staggered away. So, she staggered away with a small edge because she got to keep her five-dollar pass-line bet. I don’t blame the box person for not running after her.

My Wife, the Reluctant Dice Expert

In our early casino years, my wife didn’t mind being at a craps table but she was way too nervous to shoot the dice.

“I don’t want the other players to blame me if I seven-out. They’ll hate me.”

“Just do it once and I won’t bug you again,” I said.

“I don’t want to,” she reiterated.

“Just once,” I said. “It’s one of the best things to do in the casinos. The casino gives you the dice and literally says ‘Here, try to beat us.’”

“I don’t want to.”

“Just once,” I said.

She sighed and the stickman passed her the dice.

“Just take two,” I said.

“I know that,” she said.

We were at the end of the table. She picked two dice out of the five that were passed to her. She shook the dice in her hand and then let fly. And a true miracle happened.

One die flew to the right and one die flew to the left. The die that went right hit the stickman’s temple and then whipped into his glasses and stayed there! The die that went left, hit the box person on his nose.

Both yelled “ouch!” or some version of that word. The players at the table clapped.

The stickman removed the die from his glasses. The box person picked up the die that landed on top of the chips after it hit his nose.

If you’ve never played craps, that shot would be hard for a great magician to perform. But my wife, the Beautiful AP, had done it. I was so proud of her.

Oh, and she passed the dice to the next shooter and has never shot them again.

Frank Scoblete’s web site is www.frankscoblete,com. His books are available from Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, e-books, libraries and at bookstores.