The Wishing Well

If you read history you know that as far back as humans go, there are stories of people who have made wishes that have come true. Part of the delight of mythology is the times when fantastically great things happen to people. We are a wish-attentive species.

Indeed, fabulous fortune and wish fulfillment go hand in hand. People desire good luck in their lives, their family's lives, and in their careers. In fact, every body of water in the world has been found to have coins in them. That's right. From the moment we started using money, we threw some of it into the water to ask the gods for their indulgences. There's probably not a fountain on earth that doesn't have coins thrown in it.

Gamblers are perhaps some of the greatest wishers in the world as they are looking for good fortune and a monetary fortune playing games that they can't possibly beat in the long run. But they wish they could beat the games. Their wishes are so strong that they feel they can overcome the house edge because their wishes demand it.

Unfortunately, in the world's great myths and literature, more wishes don't go fulfilled than do. More bad things happen to good people than good things happen to good people. A stark reminder of that is one word: death. Yes, we all end our life's journeys badly. Yes, Adolph Hitler died, which was a very good thing, but Mother Theresa died too.

None of us can escape the fact that life is rough and that we often need wishes to keep us going. So I have asked some gamblers what their gambling wishes are. Here's what they had to say:

Jeanine Pirro: "I want to win a big jackpot on the slots, maybe ten thousand dollars or more. I have been playing the machines for twenty years and the most I have ever won was about $1,200. I want that one night where I just put my coins in and the money keeps flowing out of the machines."

Howard "Rock 'n Roller" Newman: "I would like to hold the dice for two straight hours. I want to make an outlandish number of hard ways and dozens of points. I want to be able to call the next numbers that I'm going to roll and actually achieve that feat. I want to see the table go from red bets to green bets to black and purple bets. I want to see everyone make tens of thousands of dollars. And when I am through with this great feat, I want you to write a book about me!"

William Billings: "I am a poker player and my greatest desire is to enter the World Series of Poker and win the title as the best player in the world. If I did that it really would be great luck because I am really just an average poker player. But when I play I do dream that someday I can improve my skills to compete with the best. I dream about that on my job, too, which doesn't make my boss too happy!"

Laura Engels: "Let me win Megabucks. Then I could play slots and video poker every day and never have to worry about losing money. What are the odds of that? [Editor's note: About 50 million to 1.] Give me that one good pull of the handle - actually I press the spin button, but you know what I mean. Just one blind stroke of luck is all it would take and my whole life would be changed."

Dom "Dominator" LoRiggio: "You know something, I am actually having the luck I used to dream about. I always wanted to play in casinos, every month, even weeks at a time. Now I am able to do it. So, I guess I would wish for everything to remain just as they are and let me keep enjoying my hobby."

Pat Cunningham: "You know, I don't have big gambling fantasies. I just want to win. That may be the biggest fantasy of all because I know you can't beat the house. So my little fantasy is to just beat the house. I don't have to win a fortune; I just want to win. If at the end of my life, I am ahead of the casinos that would be good luck enough. Is that asking for too much?"

Barry Klingman: "I love to play blackjack but I have tried and failed to be able to count cards. While I play the basic strategy correctly, overall I am a loser at the game. Oh, I've been playing for 25 years by the way. So I would like to be able to have the ability to count cards and then I would be able to beat the casinos. I don't even want to win millions. I just want to play with an edge. That would be refreshing. So my wishes aren't so grand and they are even attainable kind of."

Louis Precipio: "Man my biggest fantasy is to be so rich that I can bet gold chips and not even blink. I want all the hot babes around me, catering to my every whim! That's what I want."

Mary Precipio: "I'm Louis' wife and I am going to kill him!"

Even gambling writers such as myself are not immune to the power of wishes. I have small wishes that could come true overnight. These are:

1. Going back to real blackjack games where the dealer stands on soft 17, blackjack pays 3 to 2, and you can double and split to your heart's content.
2. I want all craps games to have $1 minimums and 100X odds.
3. I want all slot machines to return 99 percent of all the money put in them.

Those are simple wishes. But I am not holding my breath for them to come true. Maybe if I just flipped a coin into the ocean I would have a better chance!