The Truth About Slots

30 May 2023

By Frank Scoblete

[Please note: Okay, I have met the greatest living expert on slot machines. He used to be a “pert” on the machines but he retired to take up leisure-time activities, like giving people information in his unique style, so now he is an “ex” “pert.” In this article he will be asked questions by an anxious slot player and he will give his answers in his unique way. Hope you enjoy it.]

Player: Will I win tonight?

Expert: No.

Player: That’s how you answer me? With a big fat negative? What’s the point in this then?

Expert: You will not win tonight. Here’s the hint of how I decide this. Most slot players will lose tonight so me telling you that you won’t win is the best answer because I have more of a chance of being right. And, dear slot-player person, I will not explain any more of my answers to you so you’ll just have to accept that I know what I am talking about because I do. My answers are right even if they sound wrong. Now, let us proceed.

Player: Okay, how much will I lose if you know everything?

Expert: Tell me the machines you will play and how you are budgeting to play those machines and I can give you information on your prospects. Otherwise, I do not know because there is not enough information for me to make a decision. But you will lose. You can take that to the bank to withdraw

Player: Okay. Can’t you phrase things better?

Expert: Okay, you will not win. But your loss might not be devastating.

Player: That’s good.

Expert: Of course it might.

Player: Holy…

Expert: Any other questions? Your reactions are – shall I say – off the wall. You actually know all this stuff. Now questions or I am going to play my slot machine.

Player: So you think you will win when you say I will lose?

Expert: I didn’t say I would win.

Player: Ah ha!

Expert: But I will win!

Player: And ha! ha! How can you say that?

Expert: I own the machine. My side business now is to sell slot machines.

Player: Is there any way to get an edge at the machines. Is there? If not then it is all insane.

Expert: If a progressive machine is paying out more money than is being put in it, you can beat that machine and every player that plays that machine when it is giving out more money than is being put in it will be playing with an edge until someone hits the jackpot. There’s your edge. But only one person is going to actually best the machine in a real way.

Player: So, playing slots isn’t fun then? Why do we do it then?

Expert: Fun.

Player: But our long-range results will not be positive.

Expert: Fun.

Player: I don’t get it.

Expert: Are you going to play even after this talk we’re having?

Player: Yes.

Expert: Fun! Actually, playing the machines is a fun experience. Winning is more fun; losing is less fun but the sheer act of playing for the average slot player is a fun experience and that fun is what brings them back for more and more play. Win or lose. That’s why they play. They play to play. Simple as that.

Player: I think I understand what you are saying. The exercise of playing is the true experience and wins and, yuck, losses are the end results but the play is the key motivation.

Expert: The joy of playing is the joy of playing.

Player: I get it.

FRANK: All the best in and out of the casinos!

Frank Scoblete’s web site is www.frankscoblete.com. His books are available from Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble. Kindle, e-books, libraries and bookstores.