The total slot experience

I've heard them; you've heard them: "I played for 36 straight hours and I was so bleary-eyed I couldn't even tell if I won after awhile. I got home from Vegas and I had to sleep for two days to recover. I didn't do anything but play those machines! I lost all the money I brought to play with."

Most of us might think, Wow! What a great vacation Sally must have had!

But did she really? Well, of course she might think so but, in fact, what did she really do? Not much. She stayed up all hours, became bleary-eyed, and, uh, that was it. She could have done that at home without losing any money.

The fact is that some casino players have been trained, or have trained themselves, or have been acculturated into a system that prizes mindlessness as some form of merit. Seriously, going to Las Vegas to just play slot machines and do nothing else? Ridiculous!

Now think of this. If you go to Las Vegas just wrap your mind around the fact that Vegas has some of the best restaurants on Planet Earth, some of the best shopping, many of the best shows, and some of the best sightseeing in the whole nation — both natural and man-made. My word, the Strip itself at all hours of the day and night is a visual treat and a lesson in watching humanity from all over the world.

Juxtapose that with sitting at a slot machine for 36 straight hours, bleary-eyed, and then returning home to brag about your vacation and the fact that what you accomplished was losing your gambling money? Ridiculous!

Now I am not saying that you shouldn't gamble when you go to Vegas, after all Vegas is still the gambling capital of the planet, but gambling is only one of so many things you can experience that to restrict yourself solely to this activity is, well, ridiculous. When you travel, when you vacation, when you leave the confines of your normal day-to-day existence, the joy should be in multiple experiences, not a singular, draining one.

At the end of your life's days, when you are summing up your life and your memories, sitting on your butt for 36 hours is probably not going to be one of your most memorable experiences. In fact, it might not become a memory at all.

But if you attend any of the Cirque Du Soleil shows (Mystere, O, Zumanity, Love, and Ka) you will experience jaw-dropping, truly mind-boggling entertainment leaving you saying, "How can they do those things?"

Go to any of the other regular shows such as Danny Gans, Lance Burton, Penn and Teller, the Blue Man Group, Rita Rudner, Steve Wyrick, Celine Dion, in addition to a host of other shows, including Broadway musicals now making the Vegas rounds such as Mamma Mia, Spamalot and The Producers. There are also loads of comedy shows, adult-themed shows (meaning va-va-va-voom!) for both men and women, and free afternoon entertainment in many casinos. Just walking the Strip offers some fabulous sights, the volcano in front of the Mirage; the Sirens of Titan epic in front of TI (Treasure Island) and the Fountains at Bellagio.

Want some other interesting sights and sounds? Try the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay, where they swim in front of, behind, over and under you. Check out the Fremont Street Experience. Go to Red Rock Canyon where you can see beauty and listen to soundlessness. And a trip to Mount Charleston is also a pleasing way to spend some time. Visit the Gamblers Book Shop, the oldest gambling book store in America, and make a point of visiting the Gambler's General Store that sells just about everything connected with casino playing — chips, cards, dice, books, tables and, yes, slot machines!

If you like water, why not take the short trip to Lake Mead for a great day of boating? And there is always the Liberace Museum if nostalgia is your thing!

With all these shows, sightseeing locales to experience, you should time your slot play between these other fun activities.

And one thing else I have learned from bitter experience in my decades of casino play — keep your normal daily rhythm so you aren't overwhelmed with fatigue and so you don't screw up by playing foolishly. Get up at the same time, or close to the same time as you normally do every day and try to get to sleep close to your normal time. By doing this you won't fall prey to the casinos 24/7 pounding rhythm. Keep your drinking moderate. Oh, OK, eat to your heart's content!

There is so much to enjoy in Vegas that to miss out on it is — ridiculous.