The Ten Commandments of Slot Machines, Part 2

Commandment #6: Thou Shalt Always Play the Least Number of Coins

As a general rule of thumb most gambling authors recommend that you play full coin in the slot machines. Now this is good advice if the big jackpot line of the third (or full) coin is much larger because of the full-coin play. But keep this in mind, too. When you play three coins as opposed to one coin, you are tripling your risk. Is that big jackpot going to more than triple your reward if you hit it? The answer is no. My recommendation is quite simple: Look for machines where there is no extra reward for the top jackpot. These are "equal-distribution" machines where all lines are merely multiples of the first line. You win 300 coins on the top line for one coin; 600 coins for two coins; 900 coins for three coins. You gain no advantage by tripling your bets on such machines. So play one coin. Your money will last longer or you'll be able to spend a lot more time on such machines.

Commandment #7: Thou Shalt Consider Playing a Higher Denomination

It's no secret anymore that the higher denomination machines pay back a greater percentage than the lower denomination machines. If you are playing three quarters in your favorite machine, consider going up to a dollar machine and only playing one coin. You'll have to cut down how fast you play by about 25 percent to actually be spending the same amount as you did in the lower denomination machine. But getting a higher return will lose you less money in the long run. If you are already a one-dollar player, consider going to five-dollar machines and really slowing down your play.

Commandment #8: Thou Shalt Not Fall for the Slot Myths

Here are a bunch of slot myths which are fun to read about but totally wrong to believe:

• Someone can steal your jackpot and jackpot stealers skulk the casinos looking to jump into a machine when it's ready to hit.
• Heat up your coins and the machine will get hot.
• Cool your coins with ice and the machine will get hot to warm itself up.
• Machines that don't take coins, cashless machines, can be heated by playing them extremely fast because they get confused.
• If a machine looks as if it has been punched, this machine has been cold, was hit by a former player, and is about to now get hot.
• Ask the attendants where the hot machines are, they know and are glad to tell you.
• Machines have cycles and if you can guess which cycle you're on, you'll be able to out-think the machine.
• A machine that has just hit for a jackpot will not hit for another jackpot any time soon because of the previous jackpot.

There are many more slot myths but they are all, in biblical terms, the worshipping of idols that have no power to change your luck one way or the other.

Commandment #9: Thou Shalt Check the Slot Return Chart of Casino Player

Slot myths are ridiculous; slot-return charts are sublime. How do you know what percent returns the slot machines are returning? Go to the slot-return charts in Casino Player magazine and all the information is laid out there in easy to read graphs. Want to know what a 25-cent machine tends to return in Tunica? How about dollars in Vegas? Love Midwest casinos and want to pick the one with the loosest slots? The slot charts will show you where to plunk your money.

Commandment #10: Thou Shalt Not Envy Other Players

The casino brain trust is quite brainy and has created a tiered program of comps and freebies to get people to be loyal to their properties and to also play for more money and for longer hours to achieve "distinction through comping." If you are a high roller, you are treated like Ramses; if you are a low roller, well you might just get a buffet. Everyone under everyone else looks to those above them and wishes to be able to play at the level that garners such comps and respect from the bosses of the casino empire.

Such thinking is nonsense but many casino players are so caught up in the nonsense that it can ruin their trips to their favorite fantasyland. Casinos should be an escape from stress; not a stress inducer. Worrying about comps or where you fall on the "distinction through comping" hierarchy is bad for your economic health and it's also bad for your self-respect. Play the slots at the level that makes economic sense (see Commandment #1) and let the comps come naturally. Getting comps is fun; worrying about comps is not fun. Your casino adventures should put no stress on you - after all, you are going to the casino to play games and have fun. If you want stress, you could have gone to work.

Never look at another player and say to yourself, "Gee, I wish I could play at that level," because all that level contains is losses your bankroll can't handle. Play within your bankroll, enjoy yourself, and don't sweat what others are doing and seemingly receiving.