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The KISS Attack

15 March 2022

I mentioned to my wife last night as we settled into bed that the next column I write will be titled “The KISS Attack!”

“Oh, lord, no,” she said immediately.

“What?”

“How can you call your readers stupid?” she asked.

“No that’s not what the title means,” I said. “I’m playing on the normal definition of KISS but it means a little something else for this column.”

“Let me hear it right now,” she said. “Remember that your readers are special to you. You don’t want to insult them.”

“It means Keep It Super Simple,” I said. “K.I.S.S. Keep it super simple. It’s how to structure your betting in the casino. It’s a warning to players; that’s all.”

“Good night,” she said.

“Good night,” I said. Then I added, “I’m not completely stupid.”

She leaned over and gave me a kiss and said, “You see KISS can mean many things. And I don’t think you are stupid.”

How Much to Bet

1. There are three ways to bet in the KISS formula. You can make a bet that is so small there is no fluttering of the heart or intake of breath in anticipation of the result. In fact, betting at such small levels is close to not betting at all.

2. You can bet higher than you can afford and in that case the fluttering of your heart could mean an approaching heart attack. You can see these players screaming and moaning as the game progresses and their luck is of the negative kind. This is as far from fun as loving casinos and never going at all.

3. You can bet an amount that interests you but doesn’t lay you up in paroxysms of fear and trepidation. The money is meaningful, yes, but not needed to advance one’s life outside of the casinos. You are involved but not so involved that should you hit a bad streak (and at times we all do), you will not wind up on the floor in the fetal position sucking on your thumb.

Keeping it simple: Number three is the way to structure your betting. It’s fun; it’s meaningful, but it is not devastating if things don’t go your way.

How to Play the Games

Playing in the casino and risking your money is not just about how much you have to bet in various decisions. It’s how you bet that money; what methods you use to try to wrest the casinos’ money from them to you.

The better the methods you use, the better the chance that you can win. It’s really a very simple formula. For those of us who enjoy casino play and go to the casinos regularly, the “how” of how one plays is much more important than the “luck” of it.

Time is math to the casinos and that math is against the players. All casino players know this – or should know this.

Good methods of play will not guarantee that you will win because we all face the grinding effects of the house edge on our bets, but good methods can, over time, keep your losses contained somewhat as opposed to negatively exploding in one’s face.

Many players have their own systems of play, many of these systems being ridiculous and misplaced. Such players use what they consider to be “logic” behind their favorite methods. There is only one logic for betting systems and that is to bet in ways that reduce the house edge to the lowest possible levels at the games one plays.

I’ve noticed that some players will explain their complicated betting systems on the Internet or to me in emails or on my web site (www.frankscoblete.com). One individual is convinced that the “iron cross” betting method at craps is a surefire way to win. Indeed, not. It is a surefire way to take a beating over time.

There are even players who share with the world how much they have won on their winning trips, not realizing that proclaiming one’s awesome victories might lead the IRS to think, “Hmmm, this guy looks ripe for an audit.”

Specific How-To at Specific Games

At blackjack, you need to use the computer-derived basic strategy and ignore the advice of the table experts telling you how to play based on their idiosyncratic formulations.

You want to play the games in the slowest way possible as well. Thus, a blackjack player will want to play at full tables to reduce the total number of decisions he or she faces. Bathroom breaks? Do those while the game is in progress, not during the shuffles.

Craps players should only make those bets at the game that come in with the lowest house edges. That means forgoing all the Crazy Crapper bets and place bets on the outside numbers. Best to play the pass line and come bets or, if you can take some hostility from other players, make don’t pass or don’t come bets. Make such bets low in order to take as much as you can afford in odds.

Roulette players make single bets inside or, better still, just go for the outside even-money bets.

Remember KISS can help you in many ways.

All the best in and out of the casinos!

Frank Scoblete’s web site is www.frankscoblete.com. His books are available at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, e-books, bookstores and at libraries.
Frank Scoblete

Frank Scoblete is the #1 best selling gaming author in America. His newest books are Slots Conquest: How to Beat the Slot Machines; Everything Casino Poker: Get the Edge at Video Poker, Texas Hold'em, Omaha Hi-Lo and Pai Gow Poker!; Beat Blackjack Now: The Easiest Way to Get the Edge; Casino Craps: Shoot to Win!; Cutting Edge Craps: Advanced Strategies for Serious Players; Casino Conquest: Beat the Casinos at Their Own Games! and The Virgin Kiss.

Frank and Casino City Times columnist Jerry "Stickman" teach private lessons in dice control. Frank's books are available at Amazon.com, in bookstores or by mail order. Call 1-800-944-0406 or write to Frank Scoblete Enterprises, PO Box 446, Malverne, NY 11565. Frank can also be reached by email at fscobe@optonline.net.

Frank Scoblete Websites:

www.goldentouchcraps.com
www.goldentouchblackjack.com

Books by Frank Scoblete:

> More Books By Frank Scoblete

Frank Scoblete
Frank Scoblete is the #1 best selling gaming author in America. His newest books are Slots Conquest: How to Beat the Slot Machines; Everything Casino Poker: Get the Edge at Video Poker, Texas Hold'em, Omaha Hi-Lo and Pai Gow Poker!; Beat Blackjack Now: The Easiest Way to Get the Edge; Casino Craps: Shoot to Win!; Cutting Edge Craps: Advanced Strategies for Serious Players; Casino Conquest: Beat the Casinos at Their Own Games! and The Virgin Kiss.

Frank and Casino City Times columnist Jerry "Stickman" teach private lessons in dice control. Frank's books are available at Amazon.com, in bookstores or by mail order. Call 1-800-944-0406 or write to Frank Scoblete Enterprises, PO Box 446, Malverne, NY 11565. Frank can also be reached by email at fscobe@optonline.net.

Frank Scoblete Websites:

www.goldentouchcraps.com
www.goldentouchblackjack.com

Books by Frank Scoblete:

> More Books By Frank Scoblete