The King Scobe Graduate Degree in Casino Gambling

When you walk into a casino, it is important that you know your stuff. Like a surgeon about to operate, like a President about to argue what the meaning of "is" is, and like a boy or girl scout getting ready to set fire to the woods by rubbing two sticks together, a casino gambler must be prepared for the games he or she is about to play. There is no better way to do that than to read books -- preferably my books -- and then put into practice what you have learned. Of course, knowing the correct ways to approach the various games is not the same as being guaranteed a win -- if that were so, I'd stop pecking away at my computer, head for the gaming tables and to heck with deadlines -- but it certainly means that you have a much better chance of winning than that knuckle-dragging troglodyte who was playing blackjack at your table last week.

So how do you know when you are fully ready to enter the real world of casino playing and challenge Lady Luck? Well, just as a future doctor must pass a board exam, or a future lawyer must pass a bar exam, or a future teacher must pass a competency test, the would-be gambling expert must pass The King Scobe Graduate Degree in Gambling Test. However, unlike doctors, lawyers, and other professionals who do not have to get perfect scores in order to put into practice on Y-O-U what they learned in their schooling (frightening thought: how do you know the doctor in whose hands you are about to put your precious life wasn't the dumbest one in his or her medical school?), in order to get a Degree from M-E, you must get a perfect score. If you do, you will be awarded a Masters of Gaming Degree from the King Scobe Graduate School of Gaming.

That's right, take the following test, get a perfect score, and I will send you your very own degree that will prove to your friends, neighbors and, more importantly, to your children that you are the master of all you survey in the casino. Many of the answers to the questions can be found in my past articles for this site, so go to your archives. The degree I will send you is solid gold (in color) and worth its weight! The answers to the test are at the end and you are on your honor not to inhale, uh, I mean, cheat, oops, I mean...what is the true meaning of "is" anyway? Send your requests for a certificate to: Gambling Degree, Paone Press, Box 610, Lynbrook, NY 11563. Remember to include your address. One winner forgot to do that last year and never got his certificate.

1. You have a hand of Ace-7 in blackjack and the dealer is showing a 9. You should:

1. hit
2. stand
3. double down
4. say: "Excuse me," and take your bet back

2. In baccarat, the following bet actually wins more decisions than the other bets:

1. Player
2. Tie
3. Bank
4. Robber

3. In blackjack card counting, the running count is:

1. the true count
2. the count that is divided by the cards remaining to be played to get the true count
3. how fast the dealer is dealing
4. a nobleman who jogs

4. In roulette, the surrender option returns half your wager on which bets when the 0 or 00 hits?

1. red or black
2. odd or even
3. high or low
4. all of the above

5. In craps, a one-roll bet that does not appear on the layout but can be called out by the player is known as:

1. the hard eight
2. a hop bet
3. a yo bet
4. a yell bet

6. In Caribbean Stud, the dealer must qualify with a minimum hand of:

1. ace-king or better
2. three jacks or better
3. three queens or better
4. three wise men or better

7. The house edge for the Pass Line in craps is 1.414 percent because:

1. the player wins 244 decisions and loses 251 decisions
2. the casino charges a five percent commission
3. the odds bet can't be taken on the come-out roll
4. the player wins 1,414 decisions and loses 4,141 decisions

8. One of the following is not a Crazy Crapper bet:

1. hard six
2. yo-eleven
3. the field
4. the odds bet

9. The Tie bet at baccarat has approximately this percentage edge for the casino:

1. 7 percent
2. 14 percent
3. 21 percent
4. 28 percent

10. The true odds of a number coming up at double-zero or American roulette:

1. 35 to one
2. 100 to one
3. 37 to one
4. depends on which pocket has glue in it

11. In seven-card stud, how many cards are dealt face down?

1. seven
2. four
3. three
4. one

12. In Jacks or Better Draw Poker, the player is dealt how many cards?

1. four
2. five
3. six
4. as many as he wants

13. What is the maximum number of cards a player can discard in video poker after the initial hand is dealt?

1. four
2. five
3. six
4. one

14. The following is not a component of a slot machine:

1. RNG
2. eprom chip
3. handle
4. a pixie inside the box that decides who will win

15. You are playing Multiple-Action Blackjack and the dealer is showing a 10. You have 16 composed of two cards. You should:

1. stand because you don't want to lose all three hands if you bust
2. hit because that's the right play
3. double because you are a courageous player
4. say: "Excuse me I thought this was the Let It Ride game, can I have my money back?"

16. In multiple-deck blackjack, the dealer shows a three and you have a 12, you should:

1. stand
2. hit
3. whine
4. double

17. Given the exact same rules, the exact same percentage of penetration, and a pit that isn't afraid of a player playing with a tiny edge in blackjack, which game is easier to beat?

1. six deck
2. eight deck
3. four deck
4. single deck

18. If the casino pays back four to one on the Any Seven bet at craps, that gives it what percentage edge over the player on this bet?

1. 20 percent
2. 13.5 percent
3. 16.67 percent
4. a small one

19. Almost two decades ago, this man successfully sued Atlantic City casinos in order to let card counters play without having to worry about being thrown out:

1. Ken Kesey
2. Ken Harrelson
3. Ken Uston
4. Ken Starr

20. When a craps player calls out: "Give me a C&E!" he is asking for:

1. a bet on the craps numbers and the eleven
2. a drink which is equal parts coke and ethanol
3. a hard ways
4. people to point at him and say: "God, is he dumb!"

21. In baccarat, a winning Bank bet must pay a commission because:

1. the casino would lose money on it in the long run if no commission were charged and casinos don't like to lose money
2. banks always charge commissions so it makes the game more realistic
3. the Player bet also pays a commission and it wouldn't be fair to the people who bet Player
4. I'm confused, I bought this magazine to find out where the best fishing was!

22. Usually the following machines return the highest percentage back to the players:

1. five-cent machines
2. 25-cent machines
3. dollar machines
4. five-dollar machines

23. Slot clubs have been formed by nearly every casino to:

1. reward loyal players
2. stimulate more play at the machines
3. increase the amount of money the casinos make
4. all of the above

24. The governing body that regulates Mississippi Casinos is known as:

1. a bunch of busybodies
2. the Casino Control Commission
3. the Governing Body
4. the Body Politic

25. In Let It Ride, you should let your first bet ride if you have:

1. a pair of tens
2. a pair of sixes
3. a pair of eights
4. a pair of cajones

26. You are counting cards at a casino that has the surrender option and the true count is +3. You are dealt a pair of eights against the dealer's ten. You should:

1. turn to the pit boss and say: "Sir, my count is +3, what should I do?"
2. split them because you always split eights
3. surrender
4. hit

27. A "darksider" at craps is someone who bets:

1. with his eyes closed
2. the don't pass and/or don't come
3. at night
4. all the stupid Crazy Crapper bets

28. The odds bet at craps can be made:

1. after a point is established
2. only on come bets
3. only on don't pass bets
4. only by strange people

29. In blackjack, penetration means:

1. how deeply into the decks the dealer goes before shuffling
2. how much money you are allowed to bet at a given table
3. how close to the table you are allowed to sit
4. something x-rated

30. In the a blackjack game where you can double after a split, you have a 4:4 and the dealer shows a 6. You should:

1. double down
2. hit
3. split
4. spit

TRUE or FALSE

31. The dealer who pushes the dice to the shooter is known as the "stickman."

32. You should always split aces in blackjack unless the dealer shows an ace, then you should hit.

33. If we exclude the Tie bet at baccarat, the Bank has a 1.17 percent house edge.

34. The jackpot for Caribbean Stud must be at least $10,000 for it to be a worthwhile bet.

35. Megabucks has one of the highest return percentages of any slot machine in the casino.

36. The boxman at craps is anyone who has to stand on a box because he or she is short.

37. The odds of the seven showing at dice are five to one.

38. In craps, there are 36 combinations on two dice.

39. The 12 at craps is also called "box cars."

40. The odds of rolling three 12s in a row are 20,000 to one.

41. A basic strategy player at blackjack will face an approximately 1.5 percent house edge.

42. In blackjack, it is always best to double down on your ten against a dealer's ten.

43. In multiple-deck blackjack, if you have an 11 and the dealer shows an ace you should always double down.

44. The Big Wheel is also known as the Big Six.

45. The best bets at Sic Bo are the Small or Large wagers.

46. The "virgin principle" at craps states that a female shooter who has never rolled the dice will have a good roll her first time out.

47. The RNG stands for Random Number Gyrator.

48. The highest hand you can get in Deuces Wild Video Poker is five aces.

49. The highest hand in Joker Wild Poker is the royal flush.

50. In Let It Ride, you can withdraw bets #1 and #2 but you can't withdraw the bet labeled $.

I'll post the answers next week.