Some things I don't know

6 June 2017

By Frank Scoblete

I am not a genius, although some people (including myself) think so. They base this on the fact that I have good knowledge about casino games and have invented, borrowed and learned what I consider to be the best methods of playing various games. But even when it comes to gambling and casinos and casino players and dealers, I am not the be-all and end-all of knowledge.

Let’s take a look at some of the things I don’t know:

• I do not know how to be a championship-level poker player. I don’t even know how to be a good poker player because my face gives it all away. I think my forehead lights up when I have a good hand: “Attention, attention, I have four aces!” But I am a winning poker player because one month in the summer of (I think) 1992 I won $63 at the game and never played again. I quit when I was ahead because I knew I – for lack of a better word – stunk.

• I do not know how to bet horses. I tried three times. I really tried (against my wife’s wishes by the way) because I had “inside information” from someone who was kind of, sort of, maybe, probably not on the inside of the horse racing industry. The first horse this guy told me to bet broke his leg mid-race and had to be put to sleep (meaning, you know, be killed). The second horse turned off the course to go back to the barn (or wherever he was rushing to) and he also didn’t finish the race. The third horse flew out of the gates and went berserk, throwing his rider to the ground as foam came out of his mouth (the horse’s mouth, not the rider’s) and that was that. I was “0” for three.

• I do not know why we should gamble by buying gold and silver because some old wrinkled guy riding a horse tells us our money is going to be worthless or near worthless in the immediate future. Why would companies sell their precious gold and silver to get the very money they say will be worthless or near worthless in the immediate future? Why would they want to get my crummy money for their great gold and silver? I see these expensive ads on television and they make no sense to me. Why spend my money these people want for their gold and silver when I have that money already?

• I do not know why casino players think that advantage-players always win. There is not a game in the casino where an advantage-player wins all the time. In fact, blackjack card counters, dice controllers, video-poker experts, poker players, Pai Gow Poker players all have losing sessions, losing streaks and long losing streaks.

• I also do not know why other casino players think that all strategies are equally good because all such strategies are losing ones. How come they don’t realize that if they make the best bets or play the proper basic strategy at card games, their expectation is to lose less over time? Isn’t losing less better than losing more?

• I do not know why casino players moan and whine when they are losing and get really, really angry and then share their misery with everyone around them. (“I’m losing! I’m losing!” My response: “Sir, please, I do not want to hear about your losses. Go jump in a lake.”) The expectation of just about every casino player is negative and that means (please, don’t get upset) they will lose when all is said, done and played. So if they must be a pain in the buttocks because they lost, why not take up a different hobby?

• I do not know why some casino players can’t get it through their thick skulls (not you, of course, because you don’t have a thick skull, despite what your relatives and friends say) that random games have streaks but these streaks are not predictable, otherwise just about every casino gambler, except those who are troglodytes, would be swimming in money. Betting for or against trends, while fun, is the most common system in casino gambling – most common losing system as well.

• I do not know why dealers are not trained in the art of acting as if they like their customers even if some of those customers are irritating ploppies. Dealing to and with the public is hard, but an actor acts no matter what his or her inner state. Feel free to hate as many customers are you want, but do not show this. So “break a leg” when you go out to meet your customers.

• I do not know why some self-professed casino players have screwed up message boards by being constantly negative and attacking; writing the same drivel over and over again. “One can disagree with ideas without being disagreeable,” as the old saying goes. Is that why many message boards are dominated by and subsequently ruined by certain posters – the disagreeableness of some of the posters?

OK, there they are some things that puzzle me. I sometimes see the world in simply brushstroke, much like an impressionist painting: Play the best methods, make the lowest house-edge bet, keep your gambling money in a separate account – and I don’t know why others don’t follow such simple things.

Oh, well, I guess I am one genius who has a lot of holes in his knowledge.


Frank Scoblete’s new books are I Am a Card Counter: Inside the World of Advantage-Play Blackjack!, I Am a Dice Controller: Inside the World of Advantage-Play Craps! and Confessions of a Wayward Catholic! Both available on Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes and Noble, and at bookstores. Visit Frank's web site at www.frankscoblete.com