Paying the slot attendant

So you win a fairly large sum of money at slots or video poker and soon a slot attendant arrives to either pay you or congratulate you or both. She counts out the money and gives it to you, incessantly praising your great luck or great skill or both. Then she sticks out her hand, metaphorically speaking, expecting to get a tip -- like a doorman at a ritzy hotel.

Of course, the hand isn't really stretched out towards your money, but part of the payment she gives you is in small enough bills to give her a healthy tip. She's sending you a not-so-subtle signal. Plus she just keeps standing there, smiling, waiting for you to fork over some money. Time lapses. Even the biggest ploppy on earth soon realizes that the only way to get rid of this well-wisher is to give her some cash.

Most slot and video poker players will do just that.

And/or, someone working the slot areas comes up to you as you wander around looking for that special machine and says, "Looking for a hot machine? That one over there," she points, "is gonna get really hot really soon. Mark my words."

Now this attendant doesn't know if the machine is going to get hot or if it is going to get cold or if it is going to get the flu! She is simply positioning herself to get a tip from you should you win a nice prize. She's probably told everyone she can that this or that machine is going to get hot. Heck, one of those machines may very well do just that. Her playing you is advantage gambling at its best. She risks no money but has a chance of winning some dough -- your dough. No risk but plenty of potential gain

And should you hit she will be right over to say congratulations!

Many slot players will give her a tip for her tip.

Many casinos have now told their slot employees to keep their mouths shut about hot machines since the slot executives are well aware there is no such thing as a predictable hot machine. The machines are unpredictable and that is the truth. However, payouts with some small bills and with long standing attendants looking adoringly into your eyes, these are things that no executive can stop.

Perhaps the worst practitioners of tip hustling ply their trade at the strictly slots joints where workers get much of their income from luring in customers who then give them tips should their machines hit. You can hear them barking at people walking by on the street, "Hey, come on in, I know a machine that is about to hit! You might get rich." P.T. Barnum was right, of course, and to paraphrase: In the gambling world, there is a sucker born every minute.

Are the antics of these slot workers illegal? Are their antics immoral?

I'd guess these tactics are not illegal since over many decades no law enforcement agency has arrested any of the practitioners. Are these tactics immoral? I don't know. Taking advantage of people's hopes and desires is a long tradition in business. You want whiter floors? Buy this product. The product may or may not make your floors whiter but that's the hope of the buyer.

At craps games you will see the same hustling of hopes (or is that dopes?) as the stickman encourages players to make the worst bets on the table, known as the crazy crapper bets. And boy do the craps players charge in to make such terrible bets.

I guess the tip hustling motto should be Caveat Emptor -- which translated into gambling parlance means: "Let the Winning Players Beware!"

The bottom line of casino gambling is simple to write: In random games, no one can accurately predict what is going to occur. No betting scheme, no slot attendant, no slot hustler at the slot parlors, no stickman at craps, no anyone can say what will or will not happen; what or who will or will not get hot or where all these unknowns are destined to happen. Your astrology charts can pick out lucky numbers, lucky days, and lucky colors; there is no more proof of astrology's ability to make correct predictions than of the fawning-eyed attendant saying in hushed tone, "That's the hot machine over there. It's about to hit."

So why do so many often otherwise intelligent people fall for such nonsense? Perhaps this will answer the question: When Pandora opened the box of evils, only one thing remained inside -- hope. I guess inside every casino gambler is the hope that even though these games can't really be beaten, somehow they have reached inside Pandora's Box and snatched out the only thing to hold onto.