Pains in the You Know What

Craps is a thrilling game but some craps players can be very annoying. I actually have a litany of the behaviors of some craps players that drive me crazy - which in my case is not that far of a drive! In the past few months I have spoken with dozens of craps players and I've asked them to tell me what bothers them at the tables. Here are just some of the things that can get the goat of my fellow craps players.

States Howard of Florida: "I can't stand it when a shooter takes the five dice at the start of the come-out roll and then throws all five against the wall near him. Time and time again he'll do this. I know he's looking for the magic number arrangement and I also know that the guy has no sense of reality. There are no magic number arrangements."

Jerry from Pennsylvania can't stand when people make the dice "unsanitary. I've seen people kiss the dice, blow on the dice, lick the dice, put the dice almost all the way into their ears as if trying to listen to what the dice are saying. It's disgusting. The next shooter is going to have to touch the same dice and God knows what kind of germs they'll have on them. There should be a rule that you can't put your spit or any other body ooze on the dice."

Carl Williams from Tennessee "once saw a guy put one die right into his mouth. The boxman caught this immediately and told him to take the die out of his mouth and put it on the table. They then got some tissues and that alcohol rub that slot players use and they washed off the dice. The same guy was allowed to shoot but he was told he had to keep his body juices off the cubes or they would take the dice away from him the next time."

"Setting the dice," says John McNamara from Newark, New Jersey, "is a good thing to do. It shows you are serious about making numbers. Even if the set really has nothing to do with the outcome of the roll, I for one like to see people taking care with their rolls. It makes me feel that the shooter wants to win. That's a good feeling. But there are limits even to dice setting. Some shooters have no idea of what pips are on the dice and they turn and flip the dice endlessly looking for their combinations. After a minute of this, they take the dice and shake them in their hands and wing them down the table. What was the point of wasting all our time with setting the dice if you are going to wing them down the table?"

Not just dice shooters annoy some craps players. "I hate it when a person bets late," states Dom from Chicago. "Once the shooter has the dice in his hands, there should be no more betting. But you'll always see some moron throwing in late crazy crapper bets [proposition bets in the center of the table] and I have seen it with my own eyes - sometimes these flung chips will hit the dice in mid-air. Whether it changes the nature of most shooters' throws is irrelevant, throwing chips in when the shooter is in the midst of shooting is rude. I wish more dealers would just call 'no bet' when these idiots make those late bets. They'd have to learn sooner or later that the casino will not book late bets."

James Patterson from Nevada states, "I don't like it when a player buys in right next to a shooter. I really hate it when a new player will push his way in next to the shooter and cause the shooter to lose his concentration. This is really the lowest in manners. If you want to buy in, find a spot away from the shooter or wait until the shooter is finished with his roll. I am one of those craps players who believes that shooters get into a rhythm and nothing breaks that rhythm like some player squeezing in to get a spot next to the shooter."

Apropos of this, Jennie Turnbuckle of South Carolina says, "I don't like it when a shooter has been really consistent and then his wife or girlfriend comes over and starts talking to him. Or his buddy next to him starts telling him to make this or that number. Leave the shooter alone! That should be a fundamental law at the craps table - leave the shooter alone! Also, the cocktail waitresses don't hesitate to ask a shooter if he wants a drink. Please, everyone, leave the shooter alone."

"There are a lot of players who can bother me," states Bob of Racine, Wisconsin, "but what really bothers me is when a stickman leans over the table when you are shooting and you can barely see the back wall. Or when the stickman twirls the stick as if your shooting doesn't mean a thing. The crew should know better. Players are stupid but craps crews should be smart. So I can tolerate most stupid players but stupid dealers are really annoying."

"Shooters who shoot too hard and their dice leave the table time and again," states Juan G. from Albuquerque, New Mexico. "How hard is it to keep the dice on the table? I have seen the same shooter one roll after another throwing the dice off the table. And, of course, he wants the same dice for the next throw so the game is held up as someone finds the missing die; then the boxman has to check the serial numbers, and then push the dice over to the shooter. When the dice go off the table again I am ready to strangle the shooter."

The fact that craps is an interactive game where players get to shoot the dice is the primary reason so many other players have complaints. Still, when all is said, done and complained about - the game of craps is exciting enough to overcome just about anybody's chagrin.