One for the Road

13 October 2024

By Frank Scoblete

I remember a time when people had “one drink for the road” as they smashed out their cigarette in the ashtray or on the sidewalk outside the bar or dance hall.

Those were the days! Nobody got killed on the roads just because Harold was allowed to drive plastered before seat belts were mandatory

In fact, I know one man who doesn’t believe we should have to wear seat belts. He believes it is his choice to choose how he wants to die. The ones he'll take with him?

I once mentioned to him that not wearing a seat belt might mean that he will be hurled through his car’s front window and through the other person’s car window maybe killing both himself and the other driver.

He put out his cigarette, lit another one, and said, “What will be will be.”

I just hope the guy in the other car has the same philosophy. The two of them might make a good team. “Appearing tonight, coming through the window, the Bang! Bang! Twins!”

We have advanced somewhat from the days where the bartender might give you “one for the road.” That was accomplished by passing laws that held barkeeps responsible if they do the “one for the road” thing. Other than the man above happily smoking his cigarettes, do many of you disagree with the new laws?

And how does this sound?

At the end of the interminable commercials for casinos and sports betting, the bottom in somewhat tiny lettering says, “Gamble responsibly.” Huh? What does that mean – exactly?

I have no idea. One person’s “responsibly” might mean not having to put his kids in the poor house. Another might think it is just so stupid to make a bet where the casino has the edge. Somewhere in between those two extremes might exists the word “responsibly.”

Maybe a casino player getting sloppily drunk will be given a last drink with the waiter saying to him, “Have one for the elevator,” knowing the guy is staggering back to his room.

I am somewhat leery of wording that reads as if it has meaning but in reality is too vague to mean anything at all.

Drink “responsibly” – what does that mean? One, single drink might just be one drink too many. Or maybe 10 drinks is one too many too.

Gamble responsibly? That ultimately means nothing. It only sounds as if it means something.

Here is the bottom line for me: You can’t preach to the masses in ways that are indecipherable. We have no definition of responsible. It could be some combination of losses that are somewhat meaningful to an individual before he has a drink for the elevator.

Players, drinkers, drivers --- and almost everyone who has an “er” at the end of his or her name --- must be responsible for him or herself. That means they had to think about what they were doing or about to do, study the ramifications, and then decide “yes” or “no.”

While it might be fun to hold those dispensers of delight responsible (bartenders and the like) they should not have to carry the total burden. It is time for citizens to stand up and read one for the road.

All the best in and out of the casinos!

Frank Scoblete’s books are available at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, e-books, libraries, and bookstores.