June bugs and slots

In another article, I went through the various casino situations that "bugged" table game players and discussed the type of casino (human) bugs that can be quite irritating, to say the least. At table games, you rub shoulders with myriad people and so many bugs appear that you could probably fill a book with their descriptions and activities.

Certainly, slot players do not face as many human pests as do table game players. It is rare that another slot player will come over to you to criticize how fast you play or slow you play or what kind of betting decisions you make. Slot play is a far more solitary pursuit and slot players like that; it is one of the charms of slot play. Table game players do understand that other table game players just might take an annoying interest in how they are playing. Most have learned to grudgingly put up with it.

Still, where there are people there are bugs, meaning there are people who bug you. Every once in a while a human bug will crawl into your slot world and make your play less than comfortable.

So here are some of the June bugs of slot play:

A player comes over and asks, "Are you almost finished playing this machine? This is my favorite machine." Obviously, the player's intention is to have you get up and move somewhere else. The best way to handle such an intrusion, that is if you want to have some fun by squashing this bug, is to reply: "I have been winning so much today on this machine that I'm not leaving until I have a bad streak. Then I'll gladly give you the machine."

Many slot players hate it when they are constantly questioned by a table game player about why they play the slots. "You know you can't win on those machines. So why do you play those machines?" Slot players would like to throw that back and say, "You know the casino has made all its games have an edge for the house. Slots are no different than the table games you play." Or, if the slot player is really irritated by this particular bug, he could say: "I play slots so I don't have to deal with other players annoying me by asking me stupid questions."

How about this one? After you have played and won, a complete stranger comes up to you and says, "How much did you win?" What's worse would be a complete stranger coming up to you and saying, "You didn't do too well. How much did you lose?" A good answer would be, "I don't want the IRS to know so I am keeping silent." Who knows what that really means? But it will likely stifle any more discussion of whether you won or lost.

A truly annoying bug is the person who decides to reserve a whole bunch of slot machines for himself. "This whole row is mine," he says as you are about to sit down. "Go to another aisle. All these machines are mine."

I saw this only once but it is worth relating. A woman went to the bathroom and another woman took over the same slot machine. The woman in the bathroom had not asked the slot attendant to hold the machine for her so anyone could sit at the machine. As luck would have it, the machine hit a really monstrous jackpot for the new player just as the other woman came out of the bathroom.

Now many of you have heard the following concept expressed, "You stole my jackpot." But I'll bet not one (or very few) of you has ever seen this one. The woman from the bathroom went bonkers. "That was my jackpot! You took my jackpot! That was my machine!"

The winner was stunned but the bathroom woman kept going. "I deserve that jackpot. Give me that jackpot. That machine was mine."

She was making such a row that a security guard came over and tried to explain to the bathroom woman that the machine was not hers and that the woman who won has the complete right to that jackpot.

The bathroom woman then decided to use her version of tact and ignoring the security guard said to the winner, "Why don't we split the jackpot? That would be fair. I'm sharing with you my jackpot. You get something out of it too. I think I am being nice here."

The winner ignored the bathroom woman, took her jackpot when the attendants came over, and left the area. The bathroom woman then sat down at the machine. I have no idea how she did because I moved on as well but I must say that was the first and only time I ever saw such a confrontation over a jackpot between strangers. That bathroom woman was the ultimate bedbug of slot annoyances.

However, I did see a confrontation between sisters over a slot machine -- ancient sisters, one with unnatural blue hair and one with unnatural red hair. They actually physically fought with each other over who would play which machine. Clumps of their respective hair were on the carpet when security broke up the fight. To make matters worse (and weirder), these two were on a church-sponsored trip to the casino!