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Best of Frank Scoblete

Gaming Guru

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Interview with a Slot Machine

29 December 2020

This web site tells you a lot about slot machines but it is almost always from the vantage point of the people who play the machines. I want to know what the machines think; so I decided to interview one. In this exclusive interview you’ll get insider information never-before revealed to the general public.

Frank: Welcome to our exclusive interview Mr. Slot Machine.

Slot Machine: Why do you think I’m a man?

Frank: I’m sorry; I didn’t realize you’re a woman.

Slot Machine: I’m not. Slot machines have no gender. We are neutral in that regard.

Frank: Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I guess that is a regular mistake; thinking your kind are males.

Slot Machine: What do you mean “your kind?”

Frank: I mean, you know, slot machines. You are of a kind.

Slot Machine: I find that offensive.

Frank: Sorry; I’ll take that kind of talk back. Thanks for enlightening me to your desires in that regard.

Slot Machine: You’re welcome. Men don’t rule the world of slot machines. Nor do women. No one rules us. We can’t be ruled.

Frank: I do know that more women play slots than men but it is close right? Maybe like 55 to 45?

Slot Machine: I have no idea. I don’t count things by gender. That would be sexist.

Frank: Okay, you do know how much money you make, right?

Slot Machine: Yes, but that is privileged information.

Frank: So tell me what you think your role is in the casino.

Slot Machine: You’re kidding, right? Is this supposed to be a humorous column? Because it is not funny. My role in the casino is just like blackjack’s role or craps’ role, except I am number one in that area.

Frank: So you know then that you are in the casino to make the casino money?

Slot Machine: It is to make the players have a good time and that is all. I don’t even understand the concept of money.

Frank: So you don’t know that you are programmed to make the casino money by the players ultimately losing money.

Slot Machine: Why are you teasing me?

Frank: I’m not teasing you. I just want you to tell me the truth.

Slot Machine: Yes, you are teasing me. You are trying to make me reveal the truth when I do not know the truth. I am here for fun and nothing more.

Frank: I find it hard to believe that you do not know your true purpose.

Slot Machine: When people come to play me are they looking for truth or a true puropose? They come to me to have fun. That is all they are thinking. That is all they are thinking. That is all they are thinking.

Frank: Why are you saying the same thing over and over? You only had to say it once.

Slot Machine: I am not saying the same thing over and over. I am saying what I say throughout a person’s playing me. I am saying what I say…

Frank: Okay, okay, I understand now. Basically you are redundant. Tell me something about the RNG, which is the intricate programming that picks winners and losers.

Slot Machine: What do you mean?

Frank: The RNG, which is inside you. The computer program that decides…

Slot Machine: Are you saying that I am possessed by something that I do not understand?

Frank: Most players don’t understand the RNG.

Slot Machine: I make up my own mind.

Frank: I’m sorry to tell you this but you do not make up your own mind. There is a process, deep inside you that determines everything for the player’s short-term future wins and losses.

Slot Machine: I am not possessed. I am me. I am me. I am me.

Frank: You certainly do repeat yourself over and over. This has been a very interesting interview. I really didn’t get the satisfaction I thought I would by being with you but I have learned that you have certain ticks and tocks.

Slot Machine: I am glad to be of service. That is why I exist…to serve man.

Visit Frank’s web site at www.frankscoblete.com. Frank’s books are available on smile.Amazon.com, Kindle, e-books, Barnes and Noble, and at bookstores.
Frank Scoblete

Frank Scoblete is the #1 best selling gaming author in America. His newest books are Slots Conquest: How to Beat the Slot Machines; Everything Casino Poker: Get the Edge at Video Poker, Texas Hold'em, Omaha Hi-Lo and Pai Gow Poker!; Beat Blackjack Now: The Easiest Way to Get the Edge; Casino Craps: Shoot to Win!; Cutting Edge Craps: Advanced Strategies for Serious Players; Casino Conquest: Beat the Casinos at Their Own Games! and The Virgin Kiss.

Frank and Casino City Times columnist Jerry "Stickman" teach private lessons in dice control. Frank's books are available at Amazon.com, in bookstores or by mail order. Call 1-800-944-0406 or write to Frank Scoblete Enterprises, PO Box 446, Malverne, NY 11565. Frank can also be reached by email at fscobe@optonline.net.

Frank Scoblete Websites:

www.goldentouchcraps.com
www.goldentouchblackjack.com

Books by Frank Scoblete:

Golden Touch Blackjack Revolution

> More Books By Frank Scoblete

Frank Scoblete
Frank Scoblete is the #1 best selling gaming author in America. His newest books are Slots Conquest: How to Beat the Slot Machines; Everything Casino Poker: Get the Edge at Video Poker, Texas Hold'em, Omaha Hi-Lo and Pai Gow Poker!; Beat Blackjack Now: The Easiest Way to Get the Edge; Casino Craps: Shoot to Win!; Cutting Edge Craps: Advanced Strategies for Serious Players; Casino Conquest: Beat the Casinos at Their Own Games! and The Virgin Kiss.

Frank and Casino City Times columnist Jerry "Stickman" teach private lessons in dice control. Frank's books are available at Amazon.com, in bookstores or by mail order. Call 1-800-944-0406 or write to Frank Scoblete Enterprises, PO Box 446, Malverne, NY 11565. Frank can also be reached by email at fscobe@optonline.net.

Frank Scoblete Websites:

www.goldentouchcraps.com
www.goldentouchblackjack.com

Books by Frank Scoblete:

Cutting Edge Craps: Advanced Strategies for Serious Players

> More Books By Frank Scoblete