Cruise control

The first time I ever used my "cruise control" on my new car disoriented me to some degree. I had to get used to the road without my foot on the gas pedal. Strange as it might seem, the feel of the road is entirely different when you drive using your car's cruise control. It took a little while to get used to it but now when I can use it, well, it's the only way to go. Cruise control rules!

I am less tired on a long drive (which means a 146 mile drive to Atlantic City actually or a 186 mile drive to Cape May). It relieves a lot of stress for me since I am a person who really doesn't relish driving. In fact, I drive about five miles a week, while my wife drives about 40 miles per week. We had a 1995 Camry that I gave to my son in early 2008 that only had 60,000 miles on it.

So cruise control makes driving a heck of a lot easier for me. Put it on a certain miles per hour and that's that. The car doesn't go faster; it doesn't go slower. You can stay within the speed limits and not get caught up in the mad rush of maniacal ploppies who feel it is their duty to go 10 to 20 miles faster than the law allows.

Of course, cruise control can have a slight problem. There could be a tendency for your mind to drift off and not be as aware of what you are doing. You then drive the same speed but your mind has the brakes on. Not a good thing at all.

Playing slots is like driving on a highway. Players usually start off at a reasonable speed and then as time passes (and/or as comped drinks are consumed) their speed picks up until the are going over their speed limit, which is their wallets' or purses' ability to withstand the type of hits one can take playing so many decisions. Too fast is too bad at gambling games. That's a fact that can't be disputed.

The typical tendency of the majority of slot players is to increase the pressure on the gas pedal as they play for longer and longer time periods. Playing longer and longer generally translates into playing faster and faster with more decisions per hour and more decisions in total. It's a formula for losses you might not be prepared for or capable of handling.

So what is the solution to this? Use a slot cruise control.

There is absolutely no reason why you must play faster and faster the longer and longer you play. It's a habit formation, much like the habits of the ploppies who careen wildly risking life and limb, theirs and others', on the highways and byways of America.

How do you incorporate a cruise control into your slot play? Well, it will take some modicum of discipline.

You can do it one of two ways. Simply reduce the number of spins you do in a minute. If you do seven now, go down to five. That saves you about 30 percent of your potential losses. However, do not play longer because you have reduced your minute-by-minute bankroll hit.

Of course, counting the time or number of spins can be a really dull or even a torturous activity and might even take away the fun of trying to break those one-armed bandits. So if you don't want to do that, here is another way to reduce your slot-playing miles per hour.

The second way to use the slot playing cruise control method, and perhaps the easiest way, is simply to take a ten minute break every hour of play. If you normally go an hour straight, go for 25 minutes, take a five minute break to walk around; then go play another 25 minutes, then take another five minute break. Continue to play your normal number of hours in a given day but you will have reduced the hit on your money by 17%.

If you intend to make slot playing your preferred method of attempting to relieve the casinos of their cash, then you better put the breaks on somewhat. You don't want to wind up like those slot players who have quit because, as one told me, "What's the use? I keep getting my head handed to me."

Put that slot cruise control on and drive those slot machines a little slower. Your bankroll will be able to last a lot longer and you'll be able to enjoy the trip much more than if you uncontrollably careened down those slot aisles like those ploppies do on the roads.

Words to the wise.