A true tale of two role models

In all endeavors, there are smart people and not-so-smart people. The following are two people I know — two totally different people in their approaches to casino gambling. Which one are you closest to?

Our first one, 33-year-old Bruce, just loves casino gambling, what he can remember of it, as he spends about 36 straight hours at the tables and the machines before he crashes in a wrinkled heap in his room. Well, sometimes his room.

"One night I am told that I went into someone else's room who had the door open and flopped on their bed and was out like a light. Security came in and took me to my room because my friends found me and told security that I was just hammered. That must have been really funny but I don't remember much of it; I was so tried."

Bruce has a definite style to his casino comportment. "Oh, yeah, baby, all those free beers and those pretty cocktail waitresses wiggling around. They get even more beautiful by the glass. I think I hit on them but they just smile and walk away. You know what they say, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.' That's me!"

Bruce's play is uniquely his own. He has a great system. "I just wander all over the casino and look to see if I get lucky. I play everything all over the place. There are no skills you need in casino gambling; it is all just luck. You can't beat it."

What is it like to drink, flirt and play for 36 hours? "I don't remember most of it except the first few hours. Everything is a blur after you get exhausted. It's a gas, man, what I can remember of it."

Has he ever won? "Maybe, but I give it all back so I got to earn more money before I can come back. What can you do?"

Then there is Carl, our second young man. He goes to Las Vegas about five times a year and makes monthly trips to Atlantic City as well. "I love playing in the casinos and I am a pretty tough player. I just play craps, blackjack and some video poker. I know the casinos have the edge over almost everything I do but I keep their edges really low."

What is his style of play? "I play perfect basic strategy at blackjack and I never play those games where the blackjack payoff is six dollars to five dollars. That's a sucker game. I try to avoid all the games where the dealer hits soft seventeen, which is getting harder to do. I just follow the basic strategy card. At blackjack you can have plenty of winning sessions because the game is close."

And craps? "Just pass line with odds and two come bets with odds. I never make those crazy crapper bets in the game, the ones in the middle of the table. I want to play as close a game as I possibly can."

Does Carl indulge in the booze? "I do have some drinks at dinner but I am never tanked if that is what you mean. I enjoy playing too much to not know what I am doing. So while I have some drinks at dinner I am in control on the floor. That's why I come to the casinos, to play, not to get drunk."

Has Carl ever won?

"Oh, yes, on many trips I come home ahead. I am not ahead for my casino playing career but I win enough to make it exciting to go back again and again."

How long does he play for?

"I play maybe five hours a day but I break up the sessions doing other things. My wife doesn't gamble but she loves going to the shows and we enjoy taking walks and people-watching. There are some very interesting people who go to casinos."

And how does he handle his money?

"I have a bank account just for gambling. I put a little in it each week and that is my play money."

Bruce and Carl are the night and day, the ploppy and the perceptive, in the world of casino players. Yes, the casinos are there for people to have fun, no doubt about that, but how much fun is it not to even remember what you are doing, what you did, and whose room you accidentally went to sleep in?

Is Bruce's futile hectoring after cocktail waitresses really that fulfilling? Is not understanding the odds of the various bets the casinos offer an intelligent way to go about your gambling business? Are losses and having to suspend play for a time to get more money really the way to enter your casino contest? I'd say, no.

Now Carl is the man who knows how to have real fun. He plays properly, enjoys all aspects of the casino venue and knows how to keep things in perspective. His emotions and his money are under control.

So if you are looking for a casino role model, it's Carl.