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Gaming Guru

Lee Section Eight
 

The Idiot Contingent

26 March 2011

Let me set this up for you.

You're on a roll. All of a sudden, you sense someone is behind you and they are actually starting to squeeze in between you and your buddy simply because there is that one-foot section of chip rack that isn't occupied.

You squeeze him out, maybe with or without the help of crew staff.

He shows up down at the hook -- with his $300 in $20s, $10s, and $5s. You or your buddy sees this on the next throw. You fear the landing zone is about to get occupied.

He doesn't wait for you to finish your point. No, he can't wait. He barely gets his arm out of the way of your dice.

Now he holds up the game with the buy-in. There's so much chicken feed in his cash that the dealer, boxman, and pitboss all have to count and recount it to make sure. Can't decide if he wants it all in red because he can't see green. He's color blind.

He scoops up all the chips and puts them, very unorganized, in his rack. He puts chips on the line, single odds. Puts up what turns out to be $32 across, but it takes another five minutes for him to decide on each number that he wants.

The dice are finally pushed to you, the shooter in case you forgot since it's almost tomorrow. Oh, wait -- we have a couple of horn bets being thrown in from Mr. New in the corner.

Now, you can go. You set. Look at your target. You sense movement in the corner as the newbie is still fiddling with chips trying to decide what number he wants. He has almost all of them except Big Red. He reaches in really quick to get $5 on the Field that he HAD to have, just as you start the cycle of throwing.

You throw, concentrating on navigating the minefield newly created by your favorite player at the table now.

Whew...your dice barely missed a chip and the result is a 5-1. Everyone gets paid. Even the $7 owed to Mr. New.

Same routine, another five minutes go by before you get the dice again but you're prepared this time and try to meditate between throws to pass the time. Mr. New has given you a new target; he's increased his pass line odds.

Joy.

You couldn't understand why he had single odds anyway.

You throw, again amazed at the ridiculous amount of sucker bets out there. A 5-4. Only one person on the other end of the table wins.

You didn't know it, but Mr. New pressed the 9 up to 10 whole dollars. So much for that bottle of Thunderbird.

Another throw, another 5-4. You're consistent You know that, but for you and your buddies that 9 is a ghost town. Only Mr. New seems to get all the "action".

The dealer is trying to give him $15 for $1, having the three red chips in the Come area waiting to pay him. Mr. New is just looking down, almost like a fuse blew on that last roll. He's never hit two wins in a row in his life. What to do?

Between the "Ugh...err...well", another player just grabs a $1 chip out of his rack on plops it down on felt in front of Mr. New. The dealer pushes the $15 over to him.

"Pick up your $15, sir", the other player tells him.

Mr. New just look at him almost as if he was speaking a foreign language, but we've heard plain English out of New so we know he can speak it.

The other player just grabs the three red chips and puts them into Mr. New's rack.

GEEEZZ!

After this debacle, you start to hit Mr. New's chips over and over...Lady Luck giving you break after break. The hook just stares at the dice and stares at the pass line when paid. There's nothing between the ears you deduce.

Final roll. You throw, your dice are together, they land, hit the back wall, come back, and one settles just enough on Mr. New's pass line odds to barely flip over twice to a 5-2 result. You silently have a new name for Mr. New.

It depends where you are on the strip in Vegas or whether you're somewhere else in the country. Some call this the Idiot Contingent, Billy The Kid calls it the Moron Factor, or some do a combination of the two...Idiot Factor. IC, IF, or MF for those acronym lovers out there. You hesitate to call it "stupid" only because of your upbringing. Momma always said to be nice.

Well, "stupid" has several synonyms: thick, slow, dim-witted, unwise, foolish, daft, ill-advised, and ridiculous. The antonym, or opposite meaning is "sensible". Imagine that.

Whatever it was called, on this day you know the Moron Factor or Idiot Factor was running high at full blast. And you were lucky enough to be there to witness it. Someone thought you were missing out.

Joy.

Good luck out there!!

SectionEight

Lee Section Eight
Lee "Section Eight" has been playing craps for almost two decades. He has put hundreds of thousands of hours of practice into being a consistent dice controller. In his private life, Section Eight is a Chief Information Officer of a global technology company and holds a Bachelors of Arts in Russian Linguistics. He’s been a translator and has worked in the intelligence community. Section Eight is a member of the West Coast Crew and frequents Vegas and has had multiple 30-roll hands. Section Eight is also a member of the 40-Roll Club and 50-Roll Club. In his time away from the tables, Section Eight has been seen on TV in such shows as Bones, In Case of Emergency, Grey’s Anatomy, and 24.
Lee Section Eight
Lee "Section Eight" has been playing craps for almost two decades. He has put hundreds of thousands of hours of practice into being a consistent dice controller. In his private life, Section Eight is a Chief Information Officer of a global technology company and holds a Bachelors of Arts in Russian Linguistics. He’s been a translator and has worked in the intelligence community. Section Eight is a member of the West Coast Crew and frequents Vegas and has had multiple 30-roll hands. Section Eight is also a member of the 40-Roll Club and 50-Roll Club. In his time away from the tables, Section Eight has been seen on TV in such shows as Bones, In Case of Emergency, Grey’s Anatomy, and 24.